Why?
It's a summer of uncertainty. There is always a calm before the storm, or so I've been told. But I never really bought it, if only because I've never seen a storm materialize without a cloud.

Some of my friends and mentors are meat and potato writers. They don't like to paint pictures with their words; they prefer to get the facts and get it done without thinking of their space as some kind of canvas.

They often are better than me. I will continue to try to be as good as they are, even if my style is different.

I was never much for a painter; drawing a straight line has proven to be a giant challenge for me. So perhaps I can be forgiven if I choose to view my writing style as a kind of production. When I'm on my game, I want my stories to answer just one question: why?

To me, it's the most important question not only in a story, but in life. Anyone can tell you what, most can tell you how. If my stories are good, they try to answer the why.

Why did the coach call the play? Why did he squeeze? Why did the running back break inside.

Why does an athlete have a phrase written on his eye black? Why does a player spell something out in the error after making a tackle.

You can find the results, you can find the play anywhere. I want to tell you why it happened. I'd like to think that information isn't available all the time, even to someone who watched every play from the stands.

If I don't at least pose the "why" question, I'm not doing my job.

And that's why I started writing in my early 20s and have now continued into my 30s.

Maybe there's a picture there. When I ask the write question, I am only trying to paint it.

So why did I write this?

If I'm looking for answers, sometimes it's best to write out your thoughts. Then the answer comes to you. It's all because you asked the right question.

My retirement gift to someone special
My mother is retiring at the end of this school year. What I have known forever, and what I now see everyone else she's come in contact has realized, is that she is very special. I have often referred to her as my "favorite person in the world."

I mean it. She and my father had the unenviable task of raising my brother and me. They have done a great job, I think. But I'm biased. She also is a wonderful teacher, a tireless worker, and someone whose heart comes out in everything she does.

Tonight I had the chance to meet some of her co-workers, who found out in the last decade what I already knew.

My mom is a wonderful person. Sometimes I am certain I'll never reach her level of decency.

But before this gets too mushy, here are the top 10 things my mother told me.

1. "Not everyone can be a jock, Zach."-- I was upset people thought I was a nerd in middle school.

2. "Some kid in New York is very happy." --everytime the Indians lost to the Yankees.

3. "You're lucky he lets you play." -- about a coach who liked to bench me for half the game.

4. "You are always resilliant." -- everytime I encounter trouble.

5."When you are famous..."--She thinks I'll be star someday. I'm not sure at what, but mom believes in me.

6. "What does that tell you?"-- After I told her commercials that aired during pro wrestling matches were for losers.

7. "Good for him." -- when someone told her I'd dropped F-bomb after F-bomb after the 1997 World Series.

8. "You're a late bloomer." --this is important to me for the same reasons as No. 5.

9. "If you ever want to feel good about yourself, go to a beach." --I LOVE this one.

10. "Take your hat off... Lou." --this one would take too long to explain.

I love you Mom.

Your grateful son.

30 Years, 30 Indians players
This is something of a "best of" list. Players were chosen on a criteria:
A. Play, specifically with the Indians, sometime between the period of 1980 and the present.
B. Longevity in an Indians uniform
C. Personal favoritism. No one will believe this, but I actually considered putting Casey Blake on the list.

Thanks to www.baseballreference.com -- A wonderful site.

1. Albert Belle (1989-1996): He wasn't the five-tool player that Robbie Alomar was, or even a very good outfielder. He tops my list because he had something no Indians hitter had before or after. You got the feeling other pitchers, and other teams, were actually afraid to face him. That gave the Indians an intimidation factor they lost when he signed with the White Sox. Over a three or four year period, I don't think there was a more feared hitter in baseball.

2. Roberto Alomar (1999-2001): Not here for very long, but Robbie could do anything on the baseball diamond. He was the most complete player I have ever seen in an Indians uniform, and he formed one of the most impressive double-play combinations in baseball history.

3. Cliff Lee: (2002-2009):It's tempting to say that Lee is on this list because of his jaw-dropping 2008 (22-3, 2.54 ERA, Cy Young Award), but that isn't it. Sure, Cliff was a completely different pitcher in 2008, after being booed off the field the season before. But even before his Cy Young year, Lee won 14 or more games three times. I'm of the opinion that trading him to Philadelphia will go down as one of the most short-sighted and lopsided trades in Indians history.

4. CC Sabathia (2001-2008):CC never won less than 11 games in a season, won the Cy Young Award, and had an incredibly consistent 2007, where he made the seventh inning in almost every start. Sadly, he had a miserable playoffs in 2007, and didn't really learn how to win in the playoffs until he got to New York. In fairness, his best playoff start for the Indians was his first, against the Mariners in 2001. That, of course, was with an Indians team put together with the remnants of the 1990s core.

5. Omar Vizquel (1993-2004):He won eight Gold Gloves with the Indians, made three All-Star games, and had a star personality that Cleveland rarely has in anyone not named LeBron. I think it's safe to say Omar was a once-in-a-generation kind of player.

6. Manny Ramirez (1993-2000): I suppose I should talk a little about steroids here, as I've been about them as outspoken as anyone. Few listen, but that doesn't mean I haven't said what's on my mind. Manny will always be tainted by steroids. But as I looked at the list of players in my lifetime, it became apparent that the steroid era was pretty well alligned with the Indians best years. Manny was caught last year. I suspect others on this list of using, but if I dropped everyone I suspected from the list, Herb Perry might have made it. I wouldn't vote for Manny in the Hall of Fame. But I can't ignore his impact in an Indians' uniform. Manny drove in 100 runs or more five times, and had the most beautiful swing I have ever seen. It's too bad he'll be remembered for something other than that. But that's his fault.

7. Jim Thome (1991-2002):It dawned on me recently that Jim Thome's first tour with the Indians was in 1991, meaning that this season is his 20th in the bigs. Thome has 569 homers in his career, and in normal times, he'd be a lock Hall of Famer. These aren't normal times, of course. But it's very possible Thome's outstanding numbers are due to little more than brute strength and will-power, both of which he has in abundance. Thome spent the first 12 years of his career with the Indians. Seven times he hit 30 homers or more. Once he topped 50. Thome was relatively skinny when he played third base for the Indians in the early and mid-90s. I'd say if anything, the Indians waited too long to move him to first. Sometimes I wonder how Thome would have done had Charlie Manuel not been his hitting coach, since I think Manuel is a guru hitting instructor and is a World Series title away from Hall of Fame consideration himself. Thome drove me crazy at times, because he seemed to think that hitting 500-foot homers counted for more than 340-foot shots to right. It was Manuel, by then the manager, who publicly called out Thome to shorten his swing, telling him the homers would come regardless. Everyone knew this, and it's not like Thome became a different hitter, but he remained a powerful force for years after he left the Tribe.

8. Kenny Lofton (1992-1996; 1996-2001; 2007):When you look at the career of Kenny Lofton, it's an interesting case of a guy who was always good enough to be wanted by a better team. Had he simply retired after 2001, he'd be remembered as one of the best leadoff hitters and center fielders of his era. But Lofton kept going. That wasn't what hurt him. What hurt him was that he kept changing teams. He went from team-to-team, to the point that they made a humerous commercial over his travels. Lofton was a pretty good player at that point. For nine years in an Indians uniform, he was one of the best. For five years with the Indians, he hit better than .300. Four times he stole at least 60 bases. He also rivaled Kenny Griffey Jr. for some of the most stunning catches of the era. He goes into the Indians Hall of Fame this summer.

9. Joe Carter (1984-1989): Because he usually played on bad teams in Cleveland, I'm not sure people really ever appreciated how special Carter was. In four straight seasons, he drove in at least 98 runs. It's important to remember that this was pre-steroid era, and that Carter had little protection in the Tribe lineup much of the time. Carter's biggest contribution to the Indians may be what Cleveland got back in his trade, which began the rebuilding process that turned the team into a winner.

10. Grady Sizemore (2003-present): In truth, I'm surprised I've placed him this high. He's not the best hitter of the 2002-on era (that's Victor Martinez). He doesn't have the most power (Travis Hafner) and he's not a torrid basestealer (38's a career-best). But when he's healthy, he does everything well. Only Robbie Alomar is a more complete player, though he didn't have quite the power. I really feel like former manager Eric Wedge hurt him in recent years by having him lead off. He hit 33 homers in 2008 and didn't drive in 100 runs, because many of those homers were solo shots. New manager Manny Acta has him batting second now, but I want to see him third.

11. Doug Jones (1986-1991, 1998): Leave it to the Indians to find a closer who hadn't even pitched in the bigs in four seasons. Jones wasn't overpowering and he wasn't a gimmick or a character like some closers. He just got people out. Over a three year period, Jones collected 112 saves and made the All-Star team three times. He made a return to the Indians during the glory years, but was at the end of his career. Of course, that's what teams thought in 1986.

12. Julio Franco (1983-1988, 1996-1997): The first Indians game I was at, I remember asking my mother about Julio Franco, since I noticed his stance was different than anyone else's. He also held his bat way over his head. The phrase "professional hitter" was invented for Franco. Despite the struggles of the 1980s, the Indians had some really talented players. Most were hitters. Franco was traded to Texas for Pete O'Brien, Jerry Browne and Oddibe McDowell before the 1989 season. Why? I don't know. Hank Peters was a wonderful baseball man. It's not so much that he traded Franco, who hit over .300 in three consecutive seasons. Jerry Browne was decent for a couple of seasons, but O'Brien's career was ending and McDowell only lasted a few months before going to Atlanta for the infamous Dion James. Franco went on to hit, and hit, and hit. I was only five when I went to my first game. Franco was a veteran THEN, having been in the league four seasons. He was still in the league when I was 27. Franco did return to the Indians during the glory years. He was released in 1997 because the Indians may have thought he was finished. Ha.

13. Sandy Alomar (1990-2000): If it were my favorite people with the Indians, Alomar would be at the top. Injuries hurt his career, but he still was a damn good catcher. He made six All-Star teams (though two were because he had a great rookie year and fans remembered him until Pudge Rodriguez came along). His 1997 season was nearly magical. He hit a game-winning homer in that year's All-Star Game at Jacobs Field, one of the most thrilling games I've ever seen. It's great to have him back with the team, though given the Indians' catching situation, I wish Alomar was playing.

14. Victor Martinez (2002-2009): We started hearing about Martinez in the late 1990s. We heard he was hitting the cover off the ball. We heard he was learning to be a catcher. When he came up, the Indians were in pure re-building mode. When he got to Cleveland, he hit and drove in runs. He never was the greatest defensive catcher, but he became a leader and an outstanding money player. He drove in 108 runs in 2004 and 114 runs in 2007. His trade signaled the end of the Eric Wedge era, two months before he was fired. Despite all the great hitters of the 1990s, I think only Albert Belle and Manny Ramirez were better pure hitters. I miss Martinez, and wish he didn't play for my second-least favorite team now.

15. Andre Thornton (1977-1987): So we arrive at the first Indian on this list to arrive in Cleveland before I was born. Thornton's best year (in my lifetime, anyway) was in 1982, when he hit 32 homers and drove in 116 runs. He hit 33 homers in 1984. I started following the Indians in 1986, when Thornton was at the end of his career. But for much of the 1980s, he was the man in Cleveland.

16. Carlos Baerga (1990-1996, 1999): Carlos Baerga is an interesting case where a player may have been hurt more by his era than anything else. Four straight seasons where he hit over .300 and hit at least 15 homers. He would have had three consecutive seasons of more than 20 shots if not for the 1994 baseball strike. It's interesting to note that Baerga's best seasons came while the Indians rebuilt. In 1992, when the Tribe was still slugging it out at Cleveland Stadium with 86 losses, Baerga had more than 200 hits, hit .312, smacked 20 homers and drove in 104 runs. The next season, Baerga was an absolute machine: a career-best .321 batting average, 21 homers, and 114 RBIs. The Indians were again mediocre. Baerga's production at that point was staggering, but he was overshadowed because the 1990s were a great time for second basemen. Namely, Robbie Alomar and Craig Biggio. And despite his hitting prowess, Baerga was never a complete player. He was average at best at second and was not fast. As the Indians emerged as a power in 1995, Baerga's star was already falling, and by 1996 he was pretty much done as an everyday player. In a shocking move at the time, the Indians unloaded the still super-popular Baerga to the Mets for Jose Vizcaino and Jeff Kent, then traded those two to get Matt Williams, then traded him for Travis Fryman. What happened to Baerga? Who knows. He was only 27 when the Indians ditched him, but he never regained his form. But for a five-year period, he was a rock in the Indians lineup, and that's why he is where he is.

17. Charles Nagy (1990-2002): Eight times Nagy had 10 wins or more in a season. He won 129 games for the Indians, made three All-Star teams (starting the 1996 game)mostly while pitching through pain. His best game, in my mind, was Game 6 of the 1997 ALCS, when he threw seven shutout innings against a tough Orioles lineup. A week or so later, he drove me crazy by nibbling just a little too much against the Marlins. I never thought he was ever as good at any one time as some of the names that will come later, but his constistancy and his longevity make him a must-have on a list like this.

18. David Justice (1997-2000): Justice will not be remembered by most as an Indian. But he had an impact on the organization that continues to this day. Before ever arriving in Cleveland, he hit a two-run homer off Jim Poole in Game 6 of the 1995 World Series that sent the Braves to the title. Eighteen months later he was traded to Cleveland, along with Marquis Grissom, for Kenny Lofton. Then, after three productive seasons here, he was traded to New York for, among others, Jake Westbrook. In 1997 Justice hit 33 homers, drove in 101 runs and hit .329. The following seasons his production dropped a bit, but he still was a crucial part of a team that won three consecutive AL Central titles.

19. Travis Fryman (1998-2002): Looking at his numbers, I'm tempted bet that Fryman never took any steroids in his career. He was overshadowed by the gigantic production of his contemperaries, and there's no question his best years were in Detroit. But he had a few really good seasons with the Indians after arriving in a deal with Arizona for Matt Williams. Fryman hit 28 homers in 1998, and hit better than .320 and drove in 106 runs in 2000. He played excellent defense throughout his tenure, and continues to work in the Indians organization, as a minor league manager.

20. Travis Hafner (2002-present): One of the great questions of the last three seasons has been, "what happened to Travis Hafner?" On April 21, after Hafner homered in Minnesota, Twins announcer (and former star pitcher and Indians farmer) Jack Morris said this: "I'm not accusing him of anything, but he got a lot smaller last year and had a bad year." Actually, Hafner's decline started two years before that, when he went from one of the most feared hitters in the American League to one of the most puzzling questions. So why is Hafner here? Because for four straight seasons, he drove in at least 100 runs. For three of those years, he got MVP votes. And he hit and hit and hit. The Indians rewarded the DH-only with a huge contract, not seeming to take into account that Hafner was approaching 30 and since he only wore a glove in front of an oven, he was virtually untradeable. So now the Indians are stuck with a slow, injury-prone, overpaid DH. If the Indians can take comfort in anything, it's that Boston is going through the same thing right now with David Ortiz.

21. Eddie Murray (1994-1996): It was reported that Murray challenged Albert Belle to a fight during the 1995 playoffs when Belle decided to sit out a game. All I know for sure is that Murray took Belle's spot in the order and hit a two-run homer in the first inning. The Indians beat the Mariners in that game and in the series. That always struck me as leadership at its best. Murray was a favorite of mine, because he came through so many times in the early days of Jacobs Field. At the tail-end of his career, Murray became the powerful bat to protect Albert Belle and turn him into a superstar for a superstar-laden team. Eddie hit .321 with 21 homers in 1995, and spent considerable time on the DL that year. But in 1995 he also did something very memorable -- he reached 3,000 hits. To this day, I wonder what would have happened if the Indians hadn't dealt Murray to Baltimore in 1996 for Kent Merker. GM John Hart sure was trigger-happy in 1996, and I think the constant changes threw everything into disarray. Or maybe they didn't have enough pitching.

22. Bartolo Colon (1997-2002): Bartolo Colon was always almost an ace, almost what the Indians needed to win the World Series. He won 10 games or more five consecutive years, including a terrific 1999, with 18 wins and a 3.95 earned run average. Still, I'd argue that consistent greatness always stayed out of reach until 2002. Then, in a hilarious bit of timing, Colon became one of baseball's top starters, and the Indians stopped winning. He was 10-4 with a 2.55 earned run average when GM Mark Shapiro traded him to Montreal. At the time, I was furious. Colon still had a year left on his deal. That the package included three future all stars, and a future Cy Young winner, has been reason for some to hail Shapiro's brilliance. Except that Montreal was going out of business and had nothing to lose, found themselves contending, and sold the farm to the Indians. Besides, Brandon Phillips was given away to Cincinnati. Colon did win the Cy Young -- with the Angels in 2005. He makes this list because even though he wasn't always great, he was pretty good for a long time.

23. Dennis Martinez (1994-1996): As the years have passed, I feel like Martinez never quite got his due for what he did in Cleveland. He was the first big-name free agent John Hart signed, and, even at 39, helped transform the Indians pitching staff from a joke to a powerful force. For two seasons, Martinez was the ace of the staff. In 1994 he went 11-6 with a 3.52 ERA, likely losing some wins because of a retched bullpen. The next year, at 40, he made the all-star team, anchoring an improved staff. He was overshadowed in the 1995 playoffs by Orel Hersheiser, but it was Martinez who out-pitched Randy Johnson in the Kingdome in Game 6 of the ALCS, throwing seven shutout innings. It was the most important start for the Tribe in 40 years, and Martinez delivered. Big time.

24. Orel Hersheiser (1995-1997): His numbers weren't fantastic, but Bulldog is here because he was a big-game pitcher who pitched like an ace in the 1995 playoffs. He went 4-1 in the 1995 postseason, losing only to Greg Maddux in Game 1 of the World Series. And Hersheiser avenged that loss in Game 5. He was very good in that regular season, going 16-6 with a 3.87 ERA. He was never quite as good after that, though he won 29 games over the next two seasons. But he's largely here because of his run in October of 1995.

25. Brooke Jacoby (1984-1991, 1992): A good player on some bad teams, Jacoby manned the hot corner admirably, making a pair of all star teams and being something almost no Indian ever was at the time -- consistent. Never a great run-producer, Jacoby seemed to always hit for average. He had seasons of power, clobbering 32 homers on a 100-loss Indians team in 1987. He actually wasn't totally unlike Casey Blake, in that he was always had some power, but was never feared like many of his contemporaries like Wade Boggs or George Brett. The amazing thing about his 1987 season was that he hit 32 homers, but drove in only 69 runs. But he was good (a .270 lifetime average) for a long time. The Indians actually dealt him to Oakland in 1991 for Apolinar Garcia and Lee Tinsley. Tinsley actually did have a halfway decent career, but not with Cleveland. Jacoby signed back with the Indians in 1992, but was primarily a reserve player at that time, giving way to a raw rookie who showed potential but struggled in the field -- Jim Thome.

26. Bob Wickman (2000-2006): Bob Wickman was not a dominating closer. He didn't have an overpowering fastball or ridiculous command. He was not dominant, and usually left fans reaching for Rolaids. But he had 45 saves in 2005, and had 20 saves or more three times with the Indians. Drove me crazy, but I can't argue with the results.

27. Len Barker (1979-1983): I'm not even going to pretend he's on here for any other event than one I wasn't old enough to remember. It was May 15, 1981, and I barely was a year old. Barker set 27 batters down in a row, for a perfect game. It's one of the 800 reasons why baseball is the greatest game, because amazing can happen, even between two horrible teams on a rainy night in front of 1,800 people. Barker wasn't just one great game. He won 19 games in 1980, made the All-Star team in 1981, and twice led the American League in strikeouts. Plus, the trade of him to Atlanta brought the Indians Brooke Jacoby and Brett Butler.

28. Mike Hargrove (1979-1985): Yes, he managed the Indians to five division titles and two World Series appearances. Yes, he's always struck me as a great guy. And yes, I wish he'd left Mike Jackson in for the ninth inning against Florida in Game 7 of the 1997 World Series. But before he became the most decorated Indians manager of the last 50 years, he was a pretty good player. Hargrove never would make it as a first baseman today -- he hit 80 homers over 12 seasons in the bigs -- but he certainly was consistent, racking up a league best .424 on base percentage in the strike-shortened 1981. Five times he hit .285 or better for the Tribe, which in the pre-steroid era, was quite the mark.

29. Pat Tabler (1983-1988): My first favorite player, Tabler hit better than .290 four times with the Indians,and made the All-Star team in 1987. Not a homer or RBI guy, which was interesting because he usually played first base. In 1987, he drove in 86 runs. Of course, this was a very offensive year, and Tabler never came close to that production before or after. In 1988, when he was traded, I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. Of course, the deal was a very good one, as the Indians received Bud Black, who had three good seasons before being traded to the Blue Jays. Tabler ended up there at the end of his career -- and won a world title in 1992, along with past Indians Joe Carter and Candy Maldonado, and future Indians Pat Borders, Robbie Alomar, Jack Morris and ... Candy Maldonado.

30. Jose Mesa (1992-1998): He will be remembered for giving up the lead in Game 7 of the 1997 World Series. I'd imagine Mesa would be much higher on this list, and beloved in Cleveland today, if he'd gotten those last two outs. He didn't and so he's at the bottom of this list rather than the top. Mesa came to the Indians as a starter, and actually won 10 games in that role in 1993. He was moved to the bullpen, and with a vicious fastball, had a decent season as a setup guy in 1994. But the Tribe needed someone to set up for, and it was a bit of a surprise when Mike Hargrove inserted Mesa in the spot. Most figured he'd go with Paul Shuey (who had great stuff but not the mental makeup), or wait for the right trade. Instead, Mesa delivered one of the best seasons for a reliever in baseball history. He had 48 save opportunities, converting 46. A 1.13 earned run average. He had 58 strikeouts in 64 innings. He was almost unhittable. He also never was the same again, though he did record 38 saves in 1996 and had some pretty impressive save totals with Philadelphia. Sadly for him (and Tribe fans), his career will be best remembered for about 10 minutes in 1997.

10 random thoughts
1. I watched the Kentucky Derby... it's the only horse racing I'll watch this year.

2. I had no idea which horse was which, didn't have any money on the winner, and was still entertained.

3. V still is my favorite show on TV. Too bad the ratings are bad and cancellation appears a star landing away.

4. If Coke Zero really tastes like Coke, what would be the point of Coke?

5. Why do I imagine Mark Shapiro thinking: "How may single A prospects can I get for Austin Kearns in July?"

6. The Reds are getting decent starting pitching. I still don't think they can win playing 81 games in that band box of theirs.

7. Mark Lewis was a bad draft pick.

8. LeBron James has no reason to ever leave Cleveland. Doesn't mean he won't.

9. Vin Scully is still one of the top 5 broadcasters in baseball.

10. My totally unresearched pick of the Browns 2010 record: 6-10.

Six Things I think
1. After four games, the worst Indians starter has been Jake Westbrook. That's actually a good sign.

2. My guess is that Mike Brown resting starters for the final games of the regular season won't be a positive or a negative for the postseason.

3. Marty Brennaman listing his top moments with the Reds, and including the day Jim Bowden was fired, was hilarious.

4. Him including the time Randy Savage came up to the booth was unexpected.

5. I'm not rooting for Tiger Woods this weekend, but it's not like I would have had he not had his recent issues. I always pull for the underdogs.

6. Albert Pujols is reaching Bonds-like levels of respect from pitchers.

30 years, 30 bands
Here are my favorite 30 bands/performers, in preparation for my 30th birthday. I figure if ESPN can do it, I can too.

1. The Beatles
2. Bob Dylan
3. Van Morrison
4. The Rolling Stones
5. The Band
7. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
8. The Beach Boys
9. Led Zepplin
10. Patsy Cline
11. Eric Clapton
12. Bruce Springsteen
13. Marvin Gaye
14. David Bowie
15. Elvis
16. Prince
17. The Who
18. Peter Gabriel
19. The Four Tops
20. Jim Croce
21. Warren Zevon
22. John Denver
23. The Temptations
24. Bee Gees
25. Steve Winwood
26. Grateful Dead
27. Stevie Ray Vaughan
28. Garth Brooks
29. Clint Black
30. Grass Roots

Earliest April Fools memory
When I was a little kid, I had blond hair. More than that, I was proud of my blond hair. Loved that it was light, and if my mother had let me, I would have bleached it to get it lighter.

My father was aware of this. And so came April 1, 1985.

"Zach!," he said in a shocked and serious tone that would have pleased any acting coach, "your hair is jet black!"

I was petrified, and took off for the bathroom to look in the mirror. When I saw my hair was as blond as before, I was relieved, if confused.

"April Fools!," my dad said, laughing.

And thus, I was had. Since then, I have hated April Fools day.

10 Things I think
1. Chuck is still a good show, but it's missing something. The first two seasons had a real spark and energy to them, and this season (probably the final one) is coming off a little ... flat. I still will watch and hope it gets renewed for a fourth season, but I'm not too hopeful of that.

2. The Indians' signing of Russell Branyan? Genius.

3. After last season, I'm not going to predict the Cavs will win the NBA title. I really thought last season was the year to do it. The Cavaliers probably are better than a year ago. But I keep thinking the window is shutting for good after this season, and something will stop a title. Cleveland curse? I try not to believe. But after last season ...

4. I don't see Evan Turner sticking around for another season in Columbus, nor should he. One injury and his career and payday could be over. But he's a top 3 pick right now. He'll go. Anyone in the same position would, except maybe Tim Duncan.

5. My best friend asked me who I thought was smarter -- Harry Reid or Sarah Palin. I gave him an answer and he told me I was crazy. I reminded him there were only two choices and I picked one. And I'm not sure I was right.

6. V returns tonight, and not a moment too soon. It was the best show on TV in November. Assuming it picks up where it left off, it will be an exciting couple of weeks.

7. Didn't watch Wrestlemania this year. It's only the second one I haven't ordered or seen at a bar in 12 years. I think wrestling is a funny business, interesting in many ways, and certainly tragic. But without Rock, Ric Flair, Brock Lesnar, Eddy Guerrero, Kurt Angle and others I enjoyed watching, it just isn't worth it anymore. And $60? I'd like to know if Linda McMahon will be buying commercial time with that money.

8. I don't care who the Browns draft, as long as they don't take a quarterback in the first round.

9. Syfy is showing episodes of the original V series in the 1980s. Was camp required then or something?

10. I have to feel for the Xavier basketball teams right now.

B-W Please
Not to knock the restaurant B-W 3's; I spent many hours there watching football and wrestling pay-per views when I was in college.

But the commercials that are playing endlessly during the NCAA Tournament are an insult to everyone's intelligence.

In the commercials, the rowdy crowd at a B-W 3's is enjoying a game too much, and wants it to continue. So a guy at the bar pages someone at the game to create a scenerio that will send the game into overtime.

The crowd at the restaurant is overjoyed.

But there are some majors issues with this:

How many people watch a game without a rooting interest? Even if you aren't a fan, there's a good chance (if you're at a sports bar with the game package) that you have some money on said game. And if BW-3's had such power, wouldn't a fan (or a compulsive gambler) want to use it to DECIDE the outcome, not prolong the contest?

Sorry, but these ads have been bugging me for months.

St. Patrick's day
St. Patrick's Day has always had more meaning for me in the fictional world.

-The St. Patrick's Day parade in The Fugitive where Harrison Ford (the movie was made in 1993. I think he was just 81 then)escapes Tommy Lee Jones' grasp by joining the Parade.

- The Simpsons' episode where Bart gets drunk and Springfield discovers a long-lost law of prohibition. Two great lines here:

Homer: "Prohibition. They tried that in the movies and it didn't work."

and

Cop after being given a bribe: "I don't know why people are always bad-mouthing the Mafia."

-Then there's Boondock Saints, where a barfight on St. Patrick's Day sets up the whole film.

I'm not really sure if I'm Irish or not. If I am, it's not much. My biggest memory of the day is when I had a horrid migrane in seventh grade and needed to leave school, but my classmates thought I was faking to go to the parade.

I protested my innocence. At least I think I did. This happened 16 years ago and I don't remember much other than my head hurt. Thing is, it was only a year earlier when I HAD skipped on school to go to the Indians' Opening Day.

Priorities.

Anyway, to all my Irish friends, and those who are faking it to escape school and work, be safe. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

10 things I think
1. The Colts will beat the Saints in the Super Bowl. Pointless to give a score since I have only seen one person guess correctly in the history of my watching football. That was back in 1994, when Joe Gibbs picked the Browns to beat the Colts 21-14 on and NBC pregame show, and then the Browns did. I know the idea of the Browns beating the Colts sounds more shocking than anything.

2. Best Super Bowl? Giants-Patriots, 2007 season.

3. Worst Super Bowl ever? Tie between the last two Steelers' wins and the Ravens winning for 2000.

4. Art Modell didn't make the Hall again. I've forgiven Art for the move, since it isn't healthy to hold grudges in general, let alone sports. But I will always ask this question to those who want him in: If he wasn't good enough before the move, why would he be after?

5. Two of the four members of The Who does not constitute a Who halftime performance.

6. Paul McCartney, Tom Petty and Prince were the best halftime performances.

7. Bob Dylan's Don't Think Twice might be my favorite recording of his.

8. Not really believing that Global Warming thing anymore. I never really did, actually.

9. Burn Notice is a great show I only recently discovered.

10. Everyone needs to watch Chuck.

10 Things I Think
1. The Browns won't beat the Bengals Sunday, but they'll make it interesting.

2. The University of Cincinnati's football team is very good, but I'm not sure its played a strong defense yet. If Pittsburgh provides it next week, look out.

3.Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday, even if the three NFL games that day are all uninspiring.

4. If I hear Steve Beuerlein say a player "does a great job" one more time...

5. V's first four episodes made for compelling television. What I liked most about it was that it didn't resort to grotesque scenes, and still got the point across.

6. Bob Dylan's video for Must Be Santa has to be seen to be believed.

7. Tiger Woods "minor car accident" doesn't seem so minor. I mean, if someone had to use a golf club to smash in a window to remove him from his car, I think it was a bit more than a scratch. The tough thing is the insurance. He may need to play a few more tournaments next year to cover it.

8. Behind Closed Doors by Charlie Rich is perhaps the best recording of the 1970s that I've heard.

9. Chuck is back in January, and I am as excited as I can be about a fictional TV show.

10. Good to see BG beat Toledo again.

For one day... I'm caught up
To celebrate, here's 10 things I think:

1. It's safe to say that I have disagreed with just about everything President Obama has done. I didn't vote for him though, so I can't say I'm shocked by just how liberal he is.

2. After this health care thing, I am done listening to anyone trying to tell me the Republican party needs to be more moderate. President Obama promised change, but it's same old, with just about everyone going party line on the bill that will define the first half of his presidency. If moderate means spending, then that's the last thing the party (or the country) needs.

3. Not a fan of Sarah Palin. I always will defend her against people who hate her rather than dislike her politics. But she quit on her state. The Democrats would love to see her get the nomination in 2012.

4. I didn't want a reset last year on the Browns. I thought there was too much talent to blow up the roster. Well, Mangini is doing the best job of destroying a Cleveland franchise since Ted Stepian.

5. The Browns should at least call Rich McKay.

6. Why is Rush Limbaugh not allowed to own a team, but Keith Olbermann is allowed to ramble for an hour on the league's biggest program every week?

7. I don't like Limbaugh either, but it's a double standard.

8. Great to see Sandy Alomar back home.

9. If Jim Tressel ever leaves Ohio State, Buckeye fans (even the ones who criticize him) will realize exactly what they lost in about 15 seconds.

10. Chuck is coming back in January. V is my favorite show on right now, though.

Finally accepting (and embracing) being a nerd
In middle school, it was every student's nightmare.

The three year bridge between elementary school and high school is for most people the hardest in an educational career. Kids are mean to each other for no reason. The slightest blemish -- physical or emotional -- can make you a target of bullies.

I still remember the first time I was called a nerd. I still had the size of an elementary school student while everyone around me seemed to be getting bigger. I also wore glasses and was pushed around.

But when the bully called me a nerd, I was hurt. I had seen Saved By The Bell and its characterization of those types. I didn't want to be my class's Screech Powers or Max Nerdstrom.

I fought the label, but with little success. I was always smaller than the other kids, and was prone to speaking my mind instead of conforming to what the jocks were into.

High school was much better, as students grew out of whatever issues they had and found little groups to hang out in.

I was in choir, on the school TV station, and was still barely 5-foot-five in my sophomore year. But I got along with most kids in my class.

Still, the label was hanging out there. I remember a good friend of mine making a comment like, "You do have to admit, you do have some nerd-like qualities."

Looking back, I probably wouldn't have parted with those qualities if given an opportunity. I'd never want to give up my ability to quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail word-for-word (with, I might add, good vocal impersonations tossed in). I'd never want to give up my Mystery Science Theater DVDS, or my Steve Winwood Back in the High Life CD.

What is the benefit of pretending to like hip-hop music over old-school country or the occasional Journey song?

And what was the point of using the word "like" all the time to fit in?

My best friend and I spent a half hour Friday night playing a game where we listed every Cleveland Indian we could think of. The only rule was you couldn't repeat a name.

I threw out names like Scott Bailes, Oscar Gamble and Ray Chapman. My friend countered with Bob Feller, Steve Craft and Candy Maldanado.

Pretty sweet game if you ask me.

When describing the game to my family, my brother implied that I was a nerd.

My mother jumped to my defense. I cut her off.

"Trust me," I told her, "I'm a nerd."

After 17 years, I finally have realized that being a nerd isn't all that bad. Movies like Superbad, Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin and the TV show Chuck even celebrate it.

Perhaps, as said by a character on Chuck, the 21st Century does belong to the geek.

My time has come.

Five years
March 1 was the fifth anniversary of Vitamin Z's creation. Most of my friends who were blogging when I started either abandoned Blogger for better venues, or left blogging altogether.

And, there have been times when I wondered if this blog would survive. Growing up and growing responsibilities have shown me that I'm not a 23-year-old rookie having fun on his downtime anymore.

There's another blog out there (Baker Street) and a journalism career that require attention.

So it's been five years. I think VZ has lasted longer than almost all of Jennifer Lopez's marriages.

But I think lasting this long is an accomplishment. There's a list of people to thank.

1. Danny O'Brien: Got me interested in blogging, and writing about politics.

2. Curtis A.: My brother and one-time stand-in who continues to provide an important counterpoint in my daily life.

3. Vivek and Nihar Vasavada: My best friends and occasional stand-ins.

4. Aaron Rund: Good friend and long time reader.

5. Joel Hammond: Long time supporter of my efforts and one of the minds behind Pigskin Podcast.

6. Erik Cassano: Makes so many comments here he might as well be a contributor. Continues outstanding work over at PapaCass.

7. Andy Barch: Another Pigskin Podcaster and occasional contributor.

8. Phil Prusa: I lose to him every year in our 1-on-1 picks.

9. Matt Sussman: Given this blog plenty of readers from his links on Deadspin. Perhaps the funniest writer I know.

10. Vince Guerrieri: Fellow 210 West alum who has become the unofficial copy editor for this blog.

11:Dan Robinson: Mentor and friend who read my first post during downtime at work.

In honor of VZ's birthday, here's five things I always wanted to write but didn't:

1. I may not have done this three weeks if I hadn't found a hits counter online.

2. I don't think the writing on this blog was any good until the 2004 election.

3. I'm still ticked Nihar never posted the week I was in LA. Keys to the castle, Nihar. Keys to the CASTLE!

4. I never really hated Casey Blake that much. I sure did hate the way the Indians promoted him, though.

5. In the beginning, I didn't want to annoy anyone. In the middle, I wanted a lot of hits. Now, I'm just happy I have a vent spot.

Brown pants and my lifelong obsession with the Browns uniforms
What would be a dream job?

Well, I'm a sports writer, so many assume it would be to hold that position for a big paper and write stories about my favorite sports team -- the Browns.

Or I could be a play-by-play man for the Indians or the Reds.

Then again, maybe I could be an actor who never has to show up for rehersals and hit every scene in one take.

Or a musician who travels around with an acoustic guitar, stuns the locals and has a mysterious charisma.

No, my dream job is a simple one:

I want to be the one to pick out what the Browns wear for home games.

Despite constant searches on the Internet, I have never been able to figure out which member of an NFL franchise chooses what color uniform a team wears at home. But whomever it is must have clout, because they get everyone to go along with it.

There's more to this, though. It dates back to when I first started watching the Browns in 1985.

Between 1985-1988, the Browns always wore white uniforms at home. White tops, white pants. A classic look to be sure, but as a kid, I was always fascinated by the brown tops, which during that period showed up maybe once a year.

Most teams wear color tops at home, which meant the Browns wore white almost all the time.

In 1986, the Browns played 18 games (two playoff games), never once donning brown.

So the brown uniform came to be something of a white (or is it brown?) whale for me. When the Browns played road games against Phoenix and Washington in 1988, they wore brown, which was a big moment for me -- I was eight, remember.

By 1989, the Browns started wearing brown at home -- five times in 1989 and four times in 1990. By the time Bill Belichick arrived in 1991, the Browns were wearing the dark uniforms for every home game.

With the exception of two seasons, (the Browns wore white at home for all their games in 1995 and for all but one in 2001) Cleveland has normally worn brown at home.

Of course, I was thrilled when the Browns started wearing orange pants for select games from 2003-2004, because it was a nod to the Kardiac Kids, which I was not old enough to remember.

For the record, I hated the orange jerseys. Is there anything less inspiring than running out on the field and reminding opponents of the 1988 Buccaneers?

But for the last few years, the Browns have been about tradition -- pumpkin orange helmets, white pants, brown jerseys at home. The only alternate is a "throwback uniform," which has numbers on the helmets and slight differences.

But today, the Browns are going with a major change.

I remember getting a call last year from Phil Prusa, who was complaining about his Madden '08 video game.

"For some reason," he told me, "the Browns are wearing brown pants with their white tops."

The Browns have never worn brown pants, ever. But I did a little research, and discovered that, indeed, the Browns had ordered brown pants, but had never worn them.

Now, aside from being a good waste of a few hundred (or thousand?) dollars, the pants would probably annoy about 80 percent of the team's fans, who refuse to accept any change from tradition. Maybe this is why the team kept the pants in the equipment room.

Until tonight, in a preseason game against the Giants.

I am willing to bet the pants will be the talk of the town Tuesday morning. Nothing that can happen in the game will overshadow the pants. As passionate as the fans are about the Browns, they only are slightly less so about the uniforms.

I'm willing to take a wait and see approach here. As long as the Browns don't come out looking like the Redskins, it'll be OK, at least for a one-shot deal in the preseason.

Oh, and if I were annointed my dream job this season, here's what it would look like:

Sept. 7 against the Cowboys:
White tops, white pants, for the (supposed) heat.

Sept. 14 against the Steelers:
White tops, orange pants ... anything to change the luck against that team. The last time the Browns beat Pittsburgh, it was a Sunday night game in 2003, and Cleveland wore orange pants. This is also a Sunday night game.

Oct. 13 against the Giants:
White tops, white pants. The Giants are a wonderful road team; put them in their home jerseys.

Nov. 2 against the Ravens
Brown tops, white pants. Good time to break out the brown, since it should be cooler.

Nov. 6 against the Broncos
Brown tops, white pants, but use the throwback 50s uniform with the numbers on the helmet. The Browns have always struggled against the Broncos in the modern uniforms.

Nov. 23 against the Texans
Brown tops, orange pants. Good time to bring that look back for a week.

Nov. 30 against the Colts
Brown tops, white pants.

Dec. 21 against the Bengals
Brown tops, brown pants, just for the hell of it.

Adam Russell
Last week I wrote about North Olmsted graduate Adam Russell making it to the big leagues. This is a big deal for me and many of my friends, who, like Russell, are NOHS graduates.

Sadly, most of us are Indians fans, and Russell picked up his first two career wins against our team.

From what Indians announcer Tom Hamilton said tonight, it seems the Indians were Russell's team too.

Either way, it's still nice to see Russell having the success, even if we wish he's have it against some other team.

Congratulations
This one goes out to Adam Russell, a pitcher for the Chicago White Sox, for making it to the big leagues.

I have to mention the North Olmsted High School graduate on here. I feel it's my duty as a fellow Eagle. Russell is a 2001 graduate of the school.

Oh, and a note to the White Sox: There's no A in North Olmsted.

Yankee Stadium
My aunt is taking in the Indians-Yankees game this afternoon. We talked in the bottom of the first inning (I guess I wanted my voice to be heard in Yankee Stadium)and she told me she bought two beers and two hot dogs.

The cost? $29.

Times, they change.

28
Thanks to everyone who helped me get here.