Chris Kanyon dead
Pro wrestlers keep dying. Wellness policy or no wellness policy. Chris Kanyon's real name was Chris Klucsaritis. He was only 40, and he's dead. He apparently committed suicide.
I've seen some refer to Kanyon as a "WWE star", but he hadn't been in the big time for many years. He had a few matches for TNA, but had his biggest run in WCW in the late 1990s, teaming with Raven and the also now-deceased Bam Bam Bigelow as a member of the triad.

I remember first really seeing Chris on a WCW pay per view in 1998 against Perry Saturn. My first impression of his was that he was doing some moves that I had never seen before, and honestly, I haven't seen them since.

When WCW was going under at the turn of the century, Kanyon got something of a push as a DDP-wannabe. Vince Russo was writing then. In may of 2000, Mike Awesome (who committed suicide a few years ago) threw him off the top of a steel cage in Kansas City. The bump looked just as impressive as some that Mick Foley took that helped make him a star, but WCW didn't seem to have much interest in making him a star. Then again, maybe it did, but had no idea how to do it.

When WCW was bought by WWF in 2001, Kanyon went north and teamed with DDP, who was probably the biggest star from WCW that jumped right after the sale.

Yet despite his stature, WWE seemed intent on destroying Page, for reasons I've never completely understood. Paige and Kanyon did hold the tag belts (I think WWF, but I'm not really sure since there were 81 belts circling the promotion at the time), but were destroyed by Undertaker and Kane at Summerslam, and Kanyon (who actually held the US title at one point) never really recovered to the point where he was pushed as a star.

Of course, you could say that about most ex-WCW wrestlers that came to the WWF at that time.

With Kanyon, I can say I was a fan of his, but he never became the star I thought he would be a decade ago. But it's not like baseball. Talent doesn't always get one to the top.

He continued with his career (he wrestled as an openly gay character, then came out as gay in real life), and he was part of a lawsuit filed with Scott Levy (Raven) and Mike Sanders against WWE just recently, regarding talent being classified as independent contractors. From what I read, I thought they had a point, but it was thrown out.

Kanyon obviously had issues, and Vince McMahon and WWE may not have had anything to do with them. But at the end of the day, he's another young man who was a wrestler who died to young. He'll be added to a list that grows and grows.

It makes one sad for so many reasons. Put it this way: I like wrestling, and have been a fan for a long time. But if someone I cared about wanted to get in the business, I'd do almost anything to dissuade them.

Maybe the business is not to blame for Kanyon's death. But so many have died, and sadly, I think so many will follow.

My Top 10 Wrestlers (updated, 2010)
A week into this blog, I posted a list of my 10 favorite wrestlers of all time. That was around six years ago.

Then I started taking myself seriously.

Well, no one reads this anymore, so what the hell? Here is an updated list.

1. Ric Flair: I wish he'd retire and go back to WWE and do work for Linda McMahon's campaign or something. It beats seeing him in TNA. I know Ric needs the money now, but I can't help but think that he will eventually regret going to TNA. Still, the best promo ever, and one of the best workers, if not the best. I'm not sure fans now really get how great he was. I didn't until I started watching the DVDs and the old matches. I still probably don't get it like those who grew up in the Mid-Atlantic days do.

2. The Rock: Rock was the last wrestler I remember really cheering for, even when he was a heel in 1998. Duane Johnson is a successful actor now. Some seem to resent that he doesn't wrestle anymore. Having seen the mortality rate of wrestlers jump in the last 15 years, I'm glad he's out of the business. Hollywood is screwed up in its own ways, but it seems like a safe haven compared to the wrestling industry.

3. Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton/Stan Lane): Put them with Jim Cornette, and you have a combination that is the best of what wrestling can be. If you haven't seen the Midnights vs. Southern Boys from 1990... well, as bad as the documentary is, get Rise and Fall of WCW. I know Dennis Condrey is just as associated with the Midnights, but I prefer the Stan Lane version.

4. Ted Dibiase: Somewhat lost in the Million Dollar Man character is that Dibiase was a superstar before even coming to the WWF in 1987. If you see some of his matches from Mid-South, you see a guy who was a bump machine, with a charisma that made him work as a heel or a face. He enters the WWE Hall of Fame this weekend. As silly as I think that HOF is at times, I'm glad he's getting recognition. I just fear WWE will act like he didn't have a career before it branded him.

5. Randy Savage: Blackballed from WWE for something that has to be really, really bad (think of how many people Vince has brought back), Macho Man is probably one of the five biggest names of the modern era. He never had to re-invent himself, because his character was so unique, and his personality was so strong. Few can claim such things.

6. Curt Hennig: The death of Curt Hennig is second only to Owen Hart's for me in terms of sadness (Eddy's is close; Chris Benoit's is a different thing altogether) Hennig was one of the few heels I really was a fan of when I was 11. I just thought he was so cool.

7. Sting: The biggest modern star never to work in WWF. Here's the interesting thing about Sting. He was never much of a promo in WCW. He even had a character that didn't talk for more than a year. But then he goes to TNA, and starts cutting the best promos of his career. At one point last year, I'd put him up there among the top five interviews in the business. He's one of the few guys who I think has actually improved his legacy in TNA.

8. Kurt Angle: Should have been 100 times bigger than he was in WWF. An Olympic gold medal winner who could work and talk, he was saddled with a comedic character for his first two years in the big time. I think certain people saw him as a threat. They should have, because he was better than them and is probably one of the top 20 ever.

9. Hulk Hogan: Huge fan of his until 1999, when I realized that his presence was helping to kill WCW. I'm glad he got a farewell run in 2002. Sadly, that was eight years ago. Hogan is in TNA, and I am pretty sure he'll regret that move soon enough. Still, he's perhaps the biggest wrestling star America has ever had. Steve Austin was more popular and may have drawn more, but his run was shorter. Rock is another contender, but his run also was relatively short. Hogan's been a star for almost 30 years.

10. Vader: An amazing worker for a big man, Vader was a monster in WCW. He went over Sting in 1992, and was a star from then on here. More of a personal favorite for me, because his run in WCW was so different than most heel pushes I'd seen to that point.

Thoughts on TNA Impact's first Monday show
Ric Flair is my favorite wrestler of all time. When he returned to the WWF in 2001, I jumped around my dorm room at Bowling Green, cutting a mock Ric Flair promo.

That was before WWE (WWF has to pretend it was always WWE. I don't.) put out Flair DVDs and classic Flair matches. The guy delivered more often than anyone in the modern era.

I also was impressed two years ago, when Flair retired from WWE, and the company gave him a touching sendoff, which included three of the original Four Horsemen, Harley Race, Greg Valentine, Ricky Steamboat and Dean Malenko.

It almost made me like HHH (who was the emcee of ceremony, and he did a great job) for 30 seconds.

You knew, even then, that Flair would come back. I just hoped it would be in WWE. For as much as I don't like WWE or Vince McMahon at times, they do represent the major leagues of wrestling. McMahon used Flair at last year's Wrestlemania, and did so effectively, in a manager's role.

Less than a year later, Flair was back in the ring with Hulk Hogan. I tried to watch the match, but it was too sad. Flair, now north of 60, just doesn't have it anymore in the ring, nor could anyone expect him to.

The fact that Flair and Hogan, approaching 120 years old combined, were in the situation spoke to how poorly TNA has conceived its Monday night show.

In 1995, when Eric Bischoff began the first Nitro, he started with a cruiserweight match. It was two young guys (Jushin Thunder Liger and the late Brian Pillman) wrestling a fast-paced, exciting match.

Buschoff was sending a message: We're bringing the fans something new.

As much as I love Flair, as much as I respect what Hogan has done for the business, that message was not sent on Bischoff's Monday show some 15 years later.

But that was one problem. Among the others:

Sting comes out five minutes into the show and inexplicably turns heel. You know what Flair thinks about this; he's said it 100 times in interviews:

"Sting isn't a heel. He can't be a heel."

This, however, is typical of TNA writer Vince Russo. He loves to take top babyfaces and turn them heel. It worked in 1997, when he was on the WWF writing team and they turned Bret Hart. Since then, teams that Russo have been on have turned:

Bret Hart, WCW, 1999.
Bill Goldberg, WCW, 2000 (Remember the Big Surprise? No? Don't worry about it)
Ricky Steamboat, TNA, 2002
Sting, TNA, 2008, 2010.
A.J. Styles a few times, despite being one of the few homegrown wrestlers the company has and therefore as close to a "franchise" wrestler as the company has.

Sting is a great performer. His interviews in the last year are by far the best in his career, and made him, stunningly, one of the best talkers TNA had. But you get the sense Steve Borden really can't get into a heel character. Nor, after 22 years of playing babyface, should he be expected to.

- The biggest crowd reaction I've heard in TNA all year came when Rob Van Dam came out. He beat an unsuspecting Sting in eight seconds (and, like a true face, got him from behind), and then got beaten to a pulp by his opponent after the match. That's right, it took a minute for TNA's top new act to look weak. Not only that, but RVD was laying on his back for a minute after Sting beat him up.

- RVD, Jeff Hardy and Sting are on your show. Think you want to tell anyone? TNA wants to surprise the viewer, who, strangely, wasn't watching because he or she didn't know the three would be on, and therefore wasn't a "viewer" to begin with.

-Hall, Nash and Waltman are all pretty played out. Nothing against them as performers, but the acts haven't really changed in 13 years. Hall didn't look good.

-I did like some things about Monday. The atmosphere -- which my close friend Joe was a part of -- was electric and felt fresh. There was a really good X-Division match that could have used 5 more minutes. But in the end, it was a microcosm of what TNA has been for much of its existence -- potential, but not much delivered.

Monday Night Wars
One of the great things about neglecting this blog for weeks on end is that, with my readership down to two people a day who stumble upon this on accident, I can write about mundane things and there's no one to care.

Not quite as cool three years ago (when I was averaging more than 20 hits a day-- small time, but consistent), but it's amusing in its own way.

In a way, this blog is kind of like the returning Monday Night Wars in professional wrestling, that return tonight when TNA Impact begins a run on Monday nights against WWE's falgship, Raw.

It will have its moments, but they will be on a small scale.

TNA is trying to make itself like WCW Nitro, which ran on TNT from 1995-2001. In those days, the program would score ratings in the low 3s and the high 2s, and be laughed at as a massive failure. Should TNA reach a 1.5 for tomorrow night's debut, it likely would be trumpeted as a major success.

Meanwhile, RAW, in its Wrestlemania push, will register a high 3 rating. Not great when compared to the early part of this decade, but reasonable given that much of the audience that made the "wars" seem important are either grown up or watching MMA.

TNA is like WCW. Many of the faces from that program are in TNA now. Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Sting, Eric Bischoff and Kevin Nash are all big parts of the program.

I enjoy all those performers to a degree (Well, maybe not Nash. Flair is my all time favorite wrestler). It's easy to say that TNA is relying on stars of the past. But its also relying on a system from the past. Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara are on the writing team. Bischoff has power.

Russo and Ferrara and Bischoff all played major roles in the success of Monday Night Wrestling 12 years ago. But their strength came from creating television in a different time. Russo is the creator of "Crash TV," which usually means short matches, 1,000 angles crammed into two hours, and playing main event angles for comedy.

It worked in it's day. The WWF was extremely popular in 1998, and Russo deserves credit for much of that success.

But 12 years later, Russo's version of wrestling doesn't really work. He can, at times, create compelling television. But he's never been the greatest at creating angles that create Pay Per View buys.

I don't blame Russo for this. He's like Hootie and the Blowfish. At one time, the band was one of the most popular acts in music. I'm sure if you went to see a performance from them now, it would still be entertaining, but it wouldn't draw like it did in 1996.

But a band only knows how to play its style of music. If Russo is your writer or booker, he's going to produce television that he knows. That means Crash TV. It also means it won't sell like it once did.

Bischoff is another interesting case. He's, without a doubt, one of the best performers in the business. He also doesn't wrestle, which means he can't be used to sell a pay per view.

In his first show back on the job, Scott Hall and Nash were featured. Like Russo, Bischoff's greatest success came in the 1990s, when the Outsiders were one of the hippest acts in wrestling.

But neither one means much now. But since Bischoff had success with the act then, he goes back to it now.

TNA's problem is that it has always needed to create new stars, its own stars. Its biggest stars are still ones WWE fired or were content to let walk.

Kurt Angle is fantastic, but he's still most known as a former WWE guy. Mick Foley is the same. The company has some really talented guys -- AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Chris Daniels -- but I'd venture to say that 80 percent of the viewing audience from WWE has no idea who they are. That's not those guys' fault. It's the promotion's for not showcasing them as the new age of wrestling.

My point is that TNA is heading into a battle with WWE its ill-equipped for. It's not providing anything new. New is what it needs.

I need to add that I haven't watched WWE TV in more than a year. Bret Hart is back in WWE, but I have no interest in that. The truth is that WWE has been stale for years, but at least it knows how to be successful. At least WWE can, when it wants to, create its own stars, like Batista and John Cena. Those guys weren't stars during the Monday Night Wars, but they are now.

I'm not sure TNA could create its own star if it wanted to.

That's why I'm not optimistic about its chances or its future.

Bret Hart's Book: Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling
Bret Hart played the hero for much of his professional wrestling career.

He was born in a family full of wrestlers, the son of the legendary Stu Hart. He went on to become a big star, but then faced a fall that few could have predicted.

His family fell apart. His brother Owen fell to his death in a ridiculous and needless stunt. He lost friends and co-workers left and right, and he suffered a stroke after his career ended.

That story is all here, presented with honesty and detail. I have read a number of wrestling books, including autobiographies of Mick Foley, Ric Flair and Tom Billington. Hart's book is far and away the best.

Foley's was just as interesting, but this book had a far different tone. God bless Mick Foley, but his book was filled with comedy. Just like with the movies, comedy rarely wins the top prize.

Hart has some funny stories, but for the most part, this was a story of pain, triumph and tragedy. There were some very enjoyable parts -- his start in Stampede Wrestling and the characters that occupied the territory was interesting if only because it's a period that rarely gets talked about.

His start in the WWF and his climb from jobber to tag wrestler to mid-carder to star was fun to read, with a number of backstage stories. Who would have guessed The Barbarian and Warlord were nice guys?

Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels and of course, Vince McMahon don't come off so well. Undertaker, Steve Austin, Harley Race, Rick Rude and Curt Hennig do.

Of course, if certain parts are enjoyable, the section on Owen's death is tough. Bret's book makes it clear his large family (Stu and Bret's mother Helen had 12 kids) always had some issues. But Owen's death essentially split the family.

Bret's continuing pain over the accident is still apparent, and you really feel for him. But he is more honest than most, at one point wondering why he -- someone with so many flaws still is around while a great human being like Owen is gone.

It's this candor that makes the book a must-read for even casual wrestling fans. I'm not sure someone who hates wrestling and has always hated wrestling will get all of it.

But for current and former fans, you have to read this.

10 more things
- I hope to one day try to spend so much money so irresponsibly that I can refer to it as a "stimulus."

- I'm taking the Steelers by about 10 points in the Super Bowl.

- Al Gore sure has some odd timing.

- I guarantee you my friend Vince will comment on this post.

- If Bob Dylan had the ability to sing the way he did during his Nashville years, why didn't he sing that way all the time?

- LeBron James in the MVP of the NBA, but Mo Williams is the MVP of the Cavaliers.

- Tony Kornheiser asking Warren Sapp about fans that are grandmothers is an effective way to waste time on PTI.

- World Wrestling Entertainment will not be around in 10 years. At least not as an American-based company.

- The Indians have the best public relations people in baseball. If you wonder why, you haven't read the blog much.

-Pizza Hut ESPN commercials? Dear God.

TNA Slammiversary Liveblog
-First day of the offseason, home from state track ... what the hell?

-Live from Memphis.

- Even Vince Russo's crazy booking hasn't made me lose hope in Jeff Jarrett's project. I don't watch WWE much anymore, and I keep hoping TNA will embrace a more realistic, UFC-like style.

As long as Russo's and people like him book TNA, I don't think this company can achieve its potential. I don't blame Russo for this. "Crash TV" is his style. Asking him to write differently is like asking Tony Bennett to record a rap album.

- Hey look, it's Eric Bischoff! Oh wait, it's just an Elvis knockoff. The montage has a Carl Perkins-inspired opening. It's quite campy.

- Hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West. This is the six-year anniversary of the company's origin. I honestly didn't think it'd last a month. And had other money people not stepped in, it wouldn't have.

Opening match X Division Title
Kaz vs. Petey Williams (C) (with Rhaka Kahn and Scott Steiner)

-Nice to see the TNA drug testing policy hasn't reached Canada yet. A huge fan of Williams, not a fan of Scott Steiner's mini-me angle. Williams is wearing a mask to protect a legit injury.

-Cool mat sequences start us off. Petey sets up the Canadian Destroyer (the sickest looking move in the history of pro wrestling, in my opinion), but Kaz reverses. Fans duel a "let's go Petey/Let's go Kaz" chant.

- Slingshot from Petey into hurricanrana. Smooth. Don West describes Petey's style (more mat based later) as similar to what Scott Steiner would do. Not sure if you want to mimick a 2008 Scott Steiner. Maybe Petey can go off on a rant about how Ric Flair tried to sabotage his career.

-The two are having a really good match, but cue the 1998 finish. Rhaka Khan runs in and Kaz takes her out. Petey gets a led pipe from Scott, opening Kaz up, but Kaz kicks out. The two each have a number of near falls, until Steiner interferes again, allowing Petey to lay out Kaz with the destroyer. *** 1/2. It would have been higher without the interference. Steiner beats up Kaz after the match, until Abyss makes his return. Great, more nonsensical angles for eight months. Abyss lays out the heels. Khan really looks green.

- The announcers recap the card. Eric Young comes out to announce he's found Elvis. This angle will die a slow death.

- We get a video look at Kevin Nash, where they talk about how he somehow got to be the one to end Goldberg's streak and help kill WCW (faster, anyway). Actually, they talk about the angle with him and Joe. How Nash continues to be pushed at the top of the card despite not drawing since 1997 remains one of the great mysteries of the industry.

- Video look at knockouts, which is the one thing TNA promotes 1,000 times better than WWE.

Six-women match
-Beautiful People and Moose v. Roxxi, Gail Kim (my favorite woman wrestler ever) and ODB ( think a female version of Crusher -- at least character-wise. Maybe I'm way off.)

-Roxxi lost her hair at the last PPV, giving her a Sinead O'Connor look. The Beautiful People are great heels. They try to walk about, but the faces bring them back. Velvet Sky takes down Roxxi, and Angelina Love dropkicks her down. Gotta say, I like Roxxi's haircut, and I hated O'Connor's music. These women have the audience in the palm of their hands right now. You'd never see that in WWE.

- Gail does a crossbody off the top. My only complaint about the show so far is West, who, six years in, still talks too much. He's a lot better than he was six years ago, but can someone tell me how the company can have Jim Cornette and not put him out there with Tenay?

- Gail plays the babyface in peril, then ODB tags in and the place goes crazy. ODB drinks from a vlask then goes off the top on Moose. This is a hell of a match. ODB poweslams Moose for the pin. *** 1/4. Best of all, no run-ins.

-Rhino predicts he'll win the TNA title. Nah.

-Tag Team Titles
LAX (with Hector Guerrero and Salinas) vs. Team 3D

- Nothing against Hector, but to me, LAX was Konnan. Babyface LAX doesn't quite have the edge. Standard back and forth tag-team stuff here. The match dies down as Salinas hits a "Wassup drop." That was all the rage back seven years ago. Homicide rolls up Brutha Ray for the win. * 1/2

- Robert Roode cuts a non-screaming promo about how he'll win the title tonight. Good promo.

-Awesome Kong v. ?????
Old-school angle here that just might work if it's given enough time. If a fan can beat her, she gives up $25,000. It's in Tennessee, where an angle similar to this went down some 25 years ago.

- Jeremy Borash actually does a terrific job of laying out the angle, making it seem like a big deal. Two women take the challenge, and Kong and her manager pick the one with mixed martial arts background -- and huge tracts of land. Serena is her name, and she's from Mississippi.

- Kong just destroys Serena and wins with an implant buster. Total squash, but that's the point. DUD. Kong wants to fight the other girl, Josie from Memphis.

-Josie actually gets some offense in, but not for long. But she ducks out of the way from a shot and Josie starts attacking. The crowd starts responding big. Old school angles can still work. Kong just beats up Josie after that and wins. *

-Eric Young comes out with Kong still in the ring. He brings out an Elvis impersonator. I said this angle would die, and the crowd just boos the crap out of it. Kong ain't impressed. Well, if they want to turn Kong face, this is a good first step.

- Elvis taunts Kong and bombs him. Not a fan, I guess.

-Christian cuts a promo about the King of the Mountain match.

-Jay Lethal So-Cal Val wedding angle. Lethal's Randy Savage impression is good, but this angle ran its course eight months ago. I think had they toned down the Savage stuff and let Lethal develop a tad more, it could have boosted him. Instead, he's become a cover wrestler.

-Minister Hank Wittman (?) performs the ceremony. Ace Young (I don't have a clue who he is) is a groomsman. So is Kimala, in a tux. Jake Roberts comes out next. He doesn't look bad, but I can't believe they'd waste an appearamce on something so trivial. Koko B. Ware is next, looking exactly like he did in 1990. Next is Jim Powers ... oh wait, no. Koko's bird looks like it wants to escape before watching the ceremony. Join the club, Frankie. George Steele is next. Sonjay Dutt is the best man. I need to watch his speech to get a few idea's for my brother's wedding next month.

-Lethal comes out. Yeah, this angle is dying. Don West selling it as a serious moment as Val comes down the aisle is either really funny or sad. Whittman looks like the late Fred Gwynne. Lethal is even dressed in the same tux Macho wore in 1991. Not the same one, but the same style. Sonjay tries to break up the wedding, but sadly, it goes as well as Matt Hardy's bid to end Lita's to Kane some years ago. Val starts crying. This may be the worst angle ever. Sonjay did take out Ace, which, makes him a face in my book. Not in my Facebook, but in my book.

-Booker cuts a promo, as we try to cleanse the pallet from that ridiculous promotion-killing thing we just watched. Booker T turns into King Booker in a promo.

- A.J vs. Kurt Angle
Angle's working with an injured neck. A.J. did a flip over the top onto Angle. These guys are sick. Just a crazy, crazy great match, as Angle seems to prefer being cofined to a wheelchair rather than give less than everything he has in a PPV match. Ending fell a tad flat, as Karen Angle came out and distracted Angle so AJ could hit the Styles Clash for the pin. **** 1/4.

-Angle grabbed a chair and decked Styles from behind, then threatened Karen with the chair. Security came in, but so did Tomko. They both beat up A.J., again.

King of the Mountain Match, TNA title
Samoa Joe (C), v. Christian Cage, v. Rhyno, v. Robert Roode, v. Booker T (w. Kevin Nash as Enforcer)

-An odd, complicated match. As far as I can figure, a pinfall makes a wrestler eligible to win the match. The man who takes the fall has to spend two minutes in the penalty box. Then a person has to hang the title above the ring to win.

-I know, I'm confused too.

- TNA does great ring entrances for this sort of thing. Booker pin Rhyno to get elible for the title. Nash has a Kenny Rogers-thing going on. Rhyno returns and takes on Christian. Roode pins Christian, Rhyno pins Roode. So Samoa Joe and Christian are not able to win yet. The crowd, probably still in awe over the absurdity of the wedding, is quiet.

-Christian does a dive on Joe and Booker from the top of the penalty box, then pins Booker. Joe finally pins Roode, then climbs and gets the belt. Effort was great, but the crowd was dead and the ending was abrupt. *** 1/2

-Show was decent, although as usual with TNA, the bad was really, really bad.

Gary Hart dies
Wrestling manager and booker Gary Hart has died, according to the Wrestling Observer's website.

My interest in wrestling began in about 1991, a few years after Hart was on the national scene. But he made major appearances in two of this year's documentaries on World Class Championship Wrestling, the vehicle that featured the legendary and tragic Von Erich family.

In my opinion, Hart gave the best and honest interviews on the documentaries, the independent (and I think superior) Heroes of World Class and WWE's Triumph and Tragedy.


Hart also worked in the NWA in the late 1980s, managing heels such as Terry Funk.

Hart was 66.

Rest in peace, Mr. Hart.

Saturday Blog checking
Nothing really to write about here. The Chris Benoit case keeps getting uglier and uglier (as if that were possible). The Indians keep winning at home. The Cavs did nothing in the NBA draft. Matt Sussman informed me Kenny Lofton had four steals last night for the Rangers -- at 40.
Michael Moore has another movie out that I won't see.

* Sussman does some writing about Frank Thomas and Craig Biggio, who had perhaps the most uninspiring march towards the respective milestones in baseball history.

* Erik is examining the veterans v. rookies debate that currently exists in the Indians outfield. I think it's important to have Trot Nixon on the roster. But that's only so he can keep hitting Ben Francisco and Franklin Gutierrez with pies as they continue to get big hits.

* Here's my column on pro wrestling, in light of the Chris Benoit tragedy.

More on Benoit
The story keeps getting more and more gruesome. In the past few hours, we've learned more about the Benoit murder case -- and that's what it almost certainly is -- murder.
There have been tragedies like this within wrestling before. Wrestlers like Bruiser Brody, Dino Bravo and Chris Adams died violently.
But I can't remember anything like this. This would be a major story even without wrestling involved -- although the steroids at Benoit's house gives it an irrevokable connection.
Bill Simmons compared this story to O.J. Simpson's murder case. It reminds me of that, and also of Phil Hartman's death.
There's really nothing to compare this to within wrestling, but then again, wrestling doesn't matter right now.
Three people are dead. Given the brutal nature of this, it may seem hard to have much sympathy for Chris Benoit, at least in comparison to his wife and son. But not all the facts are in yet. We have to remember that.
This case has the potential to change not only wrestling, but the face of sports in general, depending on what the findings are in relation to the steroids.
But before that happens, I hope the families of Nancy and Daniel Benoit get a chance to grieve. It's such a sad story, and it's probably not going away.

Chris Benoit
What is there to write about this?
Sherri Martel died a little more than a week ago. It was sad, but not shocking.
That's just the way it has become in pro wrestling. It's a never-ending thing.
So when Martel died (at 49), it was sad, but not shocking. How could it be? So many wrestlers are gone that it's difficult to be surprised.
Then Chris Benoit, one of the best wrestlers in the world, is found dead in his home. Not only that, but his wife and young son are found as well.
I didn't know Chris Benoit. But he seemed well-liked by his peers, and in interviews, seemed like a decent, modest guy.
So as the day went on yesterday, and the information continued to come out, it was shocking.
The guy I saw on TV ( and in person a few times) didn't seem capable of such a horrible thing. And yet, reports indicate Benoit killed his wife, his son, and then himself in a three-day span.
All this occurs with the backdrop of wrestling. World Wrestling Entertainment had just embarked on a storyline where chairman Vince McMahon was blown up. It was a storyline which caused me to swear off WWE for good.
Too many people have died. In the back of my mind, I wondered how WWE could do a mock death when so many of its former employees had passed away young. I also wondered how Benoit felt about it, since he had lost so many friends in the industry.
Eddy Guerrero was Benoit's best friend. Owen Hart and Brian Pillman came from the same training ground, and were friends as well.
Now Benoit is gone, under the most tragic of circumstances.
We'll know more in a few days.
I can't help but think that as we write in sadness about the wrestler, the true victims were his wife, Nancy, and his son, Daniel. If this were anything else, that's what I would have said a lot earlier.
Sometimes you end up with more questions than answers.

Update
The Associated Press is reporting Benoit strangled his wife, smothered his son, then hanged himself. CNN has a reporter outside the Benoit home. Forget wrestling as a context. This is a story that is going to be reported like few others.

Wrestlemania III (Director's cut)
This is, of course, exactly the same as the previous post. But this one has Phil Prusa's running commentary. I do a lot of MST3K-inspired stuff, so here's Phil's chance to respond to me.
I look at it as a sort of commentary track on a DVD.
Here we go:
-----
I'll start by saying this is strictly for the four pro wrestling fans that frequent this site.

-This is still the biggest show ever. as far as I'm concerned. And with this Sunday's show in Detroit, it seems fitting to review this.

-Live from the Pontiac Silverdome

-Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful. From what I heard, she'll do so again Sunday. I do think it's important to note that WWF usually ran video packages over some of the song, with pictures of American historical figures (a picture of Martin Luther King on a show with Slick, the Doctor of Style, always struck me as a strange coupling).
PHIL: Somehow, I can't be the only one who was surprised Vince didn't show a shot of "The Natural" Butch Reed -- you know, cause he had white hair and all

-We start with an introduction from the late Gorilla Monsoon, joined in the booth by ET's Mary Hart, baseball legend Bob Uecker, and Jesse Ventura. I would say this seems a tad beneath Hart, but since Entertainment Tonight has become an Anna Nicole Smith circus, I don't think that's true anymore.
PHIL: Oddly enough, of all the celebrities you just listed, Anna Nicole Smith was the only one never to appear on WWF/WWE programming.

-Opening Match: Cowboy Bob Orton and Don Muraco against The Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel and Tom Zenk).

Jesse: Muraco is looking big.

Martel is one of my favorite wrestlers, and Zenk has actually tied Honkytonk Man for the most burned bridges in a career. Three WWE Hall of Famers here, with Orton, Muraco and Mr. Fuji at ringside. I should also note Bob and Mary have disappeared, without explanation. Have to wonder what Mary Hart did that day when she wasn't on camera. Did she hang out with George Steele backstage?Anyway, Zenk and Martel (looking bigger than I ever saw before or after), use a flying bodypress and trip to pin Muraco. Nice little match. I have to think the Can-Ams were being groomed for something, although it never materialized because Zenk left WWF soon after. ** 3/4
PHIL: Long standing rumor states that Zenk left the WWF for two reasons. One was a contract dispute, and the second was that he felt that Martel was betraying him (even going as far as trying to get Zenk in marry his sister to keep Zenk "in line").

- History package of Billy Jack Haynes and Hercules Hernandez. A closeline and a beating from Hercules set up this feud.-Gene Okerlund is joined by Hercules (RIP) and Bobby Heenan. Hercules' promo is given as though he is the character from Roman times. See, this is why people think wrestling is stupid.
PHIL: See, I thought stupid was Jim Ross proudly declaring that Arachnaman hailed from "Web City" back in WCW.

- I always sort of figured Hercules was Vince McMahon's rip-off attempt of Bruiser Brody, but I could be wrong.

-Hercules vs. Billy Jack HaynesHercules get most of the offense while Jesse and Gorilla banter back and forth. I don't care what people say, these two were great together. I can only assume they got along off camera. Hercules keeps hammering on Haynes, but picks him up at two, resulting in a discussion from the announcers about whether you should be picking up opponents. I think you should always take the pin, since that would end this match, which isn't exactly a show stealer. Herc puts BJH in the full nelson, and we actually get analysis about why the hold is ineffective -- Herc can't lock the fingers behind BJH's head. That's missing today.Double clothesline spot leads to Haynes hitting a few moves and setting up a full nelson. Jesse, after the 100th clothesline of the match:"I guess the clothesline is what these guys are going to use a lot."
I like him so much more in wrestling than in politics.
Haynes puts on the full nelson, but Herc falls out of the ring, leading to a double countout. * 1/2
Nothing quite like a throwaway finish on the biggest show ever. Herc attack BJH with a chain afterwards and leaves him laying.
Gorilla: He might have busted him right open, Jess.
Jesse: He did; he did. He did.So, did he?
PHIL: Just wondering...but what did Billy Jack Haynes do in the WWF besides this match? Seriously, I have thought about other par per views, other feuds, and other big time events, and his name NEVER comes up.

-Gene does interviews for the mixed-midget wrestling thing-King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo, and Lord Littlebrook v. Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid (RIP) and Little Beaver (RIP) Uecker joins the guys for commentary, setting up one of the great lines in Wrestlemania history. Anyway, I am not a fan of midget wrestling. Since this is the 2005 DVD release, Don't Go Messin with a Country Boy is dubbed over with something that sounds like Country Dance on a Casio.Little Beaver goes after Bundy, which Ventura protests. This sets up Uecker's moment of glory:

Uecker: I think there's a lot of Beaver all over this place.
Ueck pauses for a second, then tries to cover for his Rated PG-13 slip. Anyway, Bundy gets disqualified for squashing a midget. *
PHIL: This match proves that, with great commentary, even a lame gimmick match like this can be fun. Uecker should be in the WWE Celebrity wing of the WWE Hall of Fame.

- Mary Hart interviews Elizabeth (RIP), but Macho interrupts and hits on Hart. How Macho could ever be booed is beyond me. He was so cool.

- Video package sets up Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. This would have been a main event seven years earlier. As it is, it's a glorified comedy match. I need to mention the package, when JYD steals Race's cape, and Vince is screaming "The fans ... going completely bezerk!" Of course, you see the fans pretty much doing nothing.
PHIL: Of course, when Vince was ever on commentary, every single thing he ever saw was unbelievable.
-Interviews with Gene, with Bobby again setting the tone. Uecker leaves the booth to hit on Moolah. Advice to anyone envisioning such a thing: don't.
PHIL: One reason to watch WrestleMania IV: Uecker is back and berates Gorilla and Jesse for a few seconds, saying he got new glasses and won't be fooled into chasing Moolah a second year in a row.

-JYD (RIP) v. Harley RaceDog was not much of a worker, but even a few years past his peak, he gets a monster response. The loser of this match bows to the winner. Months ago, Vivek asked me to work in a Grab Them Cakes reference somewhere on my blog. Never found use for it until now.Race is just bumping like crazy trying to get the match over. It's almost Hennig like. I mean, he's flying all over the place for Dog's offense. JYD eventually gets distracted by Bobby, and Race hits a belly-to-belly suplex for the win. ** Dog bows to Race, then decks him with a chair.

Ventura: I have never in my day seen such a cheap shot in my life Monsoon.
Gorilla: I loved it.Ventura: You loved it? If Harley Race was doing that I'd have to hold you back up here.

Dog leaves with the cape and crown. WWE has played this clip a lot over the years, never really mentioning that Dog lost the match.
PHIL: Probably the only time in the history of WWF/WWE will you hear a commentator use the word "curtsey."

- Vince McMahon (who somehow is only making his second and final appearance on the show) interviews Hulk about his match. I wonder if this was taped the day of the show. - Gene interviews the Dream Team, establishing Dino Bravo (RIP) is in their corner, along with Johnny Valient-Fabulous Rougeaus v. The Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine)One of my favorite matches ever, just because of the commentary. Gorilla starts the fun by noting the Dream team is bringing four guys to the ring. Gorilla: This is not a six-man match, Jess. What are all these guys doing out here?Jesse: Advisers, Gorilla.The teams are having a solid match, but Bobby the Brain elevates it to legendary status by barging into the broadcast booth. He speaks clearly, with crazy excitement. He brags about being 2-0, which draws another classic exchange: Gorilla: You're one for three in my book. You didn't win the Hernandez match; King Kong Bundy lost.Bobby: I wasn't out there for that match. I don't deal with midgets
PHIL: If you never heard Gorilla and Heenan do commentary on anything from live matches to Tuesday Night Titans, you're missing a real treat. These two played off each other better than duo I've ever experienced.
Heel miscommunication sets up the Rougeaus finishing move (a bizzare mid-section to face off the top thing), but with the ref distracted, Bravo comes off the top and puts Hammer on top. ** 3/4

Gorilla: Dino Bravo came in and turned the ta... aw, give me a break. I suppose you call that fair, Brain?
Bobby: A win's a win.

Beefcake is miffed by the finish, and the other three leave him behind, setting up his face turn. So the Dream Team breaks up, and the Rougeaus still can't win? This continues my running theory that the Fabs never won a match. Ever.
PHIL: Do house show wins count?

-Video package sets up the classic Hair v. Hair match between Roddy Piper and Adrian Adonis (RIP). I recently picked up the AWA DVD, and couldn't believe how great the East-West Connection was. Adonis was a heck of a worker, and decent in the promos they showed. I know he gained weight after arriving in the WWF, but why did he get saddled with the "Adorable" gimmick? The package also shows Piper at his best. Adrian Adonis v. Roddy PiperPiper was about as popular as Hogan was at the time. This was his retirement, although he came back so many times afterwards, that part of the story has lost its impact. Adonis is a sad story, since he died a little more than a year later in a car accident. He was only 33. The place, as mentioned, is going nuts for Hot Rod. I should also point out this was a hair vs. hair match, as is this year's contest between Lashley and Umaga. Piper and Adonis trade belt shots. The match isn't great, but the place is going crazy. I think in some ways, Vince is trying to recreate this match with the Donald Trump angle. Manager Jimmy Hart gets tossed off the top rope. Man, everybody was going all out. The other thing is by this point, Adonis had put on a ton of weight. Piper uses his charisma to keep the crowd going. Adonis puts on the sleeper, but releases it too soon. While he celebrates, Beefcake runs in (apparently he had his hair cut by Adonis weeks prior, but I've never seen the tape and the announcers barely mention it) and wakes up Piper. Piper is revived, and puts Adonis in a sleeper to end the match. Beefcake cuts Adonis' hair (which eventually sets up his "barber" gimmick) They never get around to cutting all of Adonis' hair, but it's close enough.Piper is announced as the winner, and kisses ring announcer Howard Finkel on the head. As he's celebrating, he's joined by a fan. Piper keeps his cool and shakes the kid's hand, then pushes him back as the camera cuts away. If you watch the ring, you see the fan get mad-rushed by security. Wonder whatever happened to the fan.
PHIL: Adonis actually did get his head shaved. It happened backstage and then the WWF ran a storyline with him being all depressed that he was no longer "Adorable." He died shortly after this. Real shame that this is how most people will remember his career. As far as the fan who stupidly rushed the ring, all I can remember is he got tackled by about half the WWF security force.

-Piper gets congratulated by Pat Patterson, Jack Lanza, and what looks to be Arnold Skaaland (RIP). Skaaland just died last week.

-Bob and Mary are back to do commentary. Mary's kind of annoying, but Bob is great. It seems, from his commentary, that he was a true fan. Mary sounds like Gordon Solie compared to the celebrity announcers they had at Wrestlemania II. If you've never heard the trifecta of Susan St. James, Kathy Lee Crosby and Elvira, consider yourself lucky.
PHIL: Somewhere Zach, Susan St. James is saying "UH-OH!!"

-Hart Foundation (Jim Neidhart and Bret Hart) and Danny Davis v. British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith (RIP) and Tom "Dynamite Kid" Billington) and Tito SantanaIf you want to hear true heel heat, wait until Davis tags in. Davis is, of course, the heel referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles. Mary clears up she's not related to Jimmy Hart. Well, she's trying. I love this match. Every time the Harts are in command, the Harts tag in Davis, who walks in, kicks the faces in the back, grins, and tags out. Some promoters may have made him world champion with that kind of heat. Dynamite had broken his back and couldn't do much. Just about a year earlier, he was considered one of the greatest wrestlers ever. I read his book, and he was very honest about himself and everyone else. It's sad to watch the Bulldogs, knowing that Davey has passed and Dynamite is in a wheelchair. The heels pretty much control the match, until Davis tries a body press and Davey gets his knees up. Santana tags in and he's TICKED. Santana just destroys Davis, and doesn't take the pin, instead putting on the figure four. It's broken up, and Davey tags in. What follows is pretty fun to watch. Davey hits him with a piledriver, suplex and powerslam, with the crowd going crazy. Anvil makes the save, and in the free-for-all, Jimmy Hart tosses in the megaphone and Davis gets the pin. *** Wow, that took some guts.
Bob: You'll never hear the end of it.
The segment ends with Mary interrupting Gorilla, and Gorilla ignoring her.
PHIL: If you watch this with no prior knowledge of who anyone is, You'd swear Uecker is a member of WWF. He is just so fluid with his commentary. You also know the Hart Foundation was going to win this match since having Tito on your team at WrestleMania is like walking under a bridge, breaking a mirror, and crossing paths with a black cat all on the same day.

-Mean Gene interviews Bobby and Andre. Well, actually, Andre just stands there and looks like a badass, while Bobby cuts one of the best promos I have ever heard. He lays out all the cards: Andre's bigger, tougher, undefeated, unbeatable. Hogan has no shot; Hulkamainia is dead. Everyone is picking Andre. Don't bother, Hogan. You can watch this match, but it'll be a slaughter. I'll manage the champion; I'll be famous. You know, I have seen Hogan and Andre, the match, 100 times, and it is not very good. If they show the match on complilations, they need to include this promo. Even though I know the match is bad, I still want to see it every time I watch this promo.

-And from this parade of greatness, we go to ...

-Butch Reed v. Koko B. WareThis match is notable only because they overdub Piledriver over Koko's music. Hard to listen to, actually. Koko goes with the white tights tonight, which spares WWE from having to blur out the "WWF" on his tights. You know, WCW is dead, AWA is dead, and ECW might as well be. But there's only one company name, one set of letters, that can't be said. Try saying "WWF" at a WWE show, and they'll beep you. The company can't even admit it was WWF at one point. In that sense, those other companies live on, while the WWF is non-existent. In that sense, the promoters and companies Vince ran out of business had the last laugh. Anyway, the match. Reed pins Ware with a handful of tights. *
PHIL: One star? That seems WAY too generous here.

-And now, the match that made the show into a classic. Hogan and Andre sold it, and provided the best moment. But the reason every wrestling fan needs to own this show is ... -

-Intercontinental Title MatchMacho Man Randy Savage (with Elizabeth) vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (with George Steele)
I have to get this out of the way first: Steele is not the father of current OSU star linebacker James Laurinaitis. That is Road Warrior Animal's (Joe Laurinaitis) son. OK, to the match. Savage crushed Steamboat's throat with a bell, Steele has the hots for Elizabeth (and really, who didn't?) and Steamboat is the usual sympathetic babyface. Savage is a heel, but you can tell the crowd is starting to get into him. Also, WWE's cheapness shows again, as they dub over Steamboat's Alan Parson's Project music.
We start fast with Savage taking control. Ventura and Monsoon both put Savage over huge.
Steamboat takes over with an arm drag, and shots to the back. Savage goes back on offense. Everything these guys are doing has a crispness to it. Steamboat knocks Savage into the ropes, and bow we're moving. Steamboat uses a body press to set up pin attempts, but Savage catches Steamboat and sends him backwards into the ropes (how often do you see that?), then hits him with a knee to the back. In one of my favorite parts of the match, Randy throws Steamboat out, but the Dragon skins the cat to get back in. Savage responds by casually clotheslining him over the top again. Steele tries to help Steamboat, but Savage attacks and sends Dragon into the crowd. Steele helps him back in to break the count, but Savagethrows him out again, then connects with an axe handle off the top. Jesse yells about the officiating. Savage gets another axe handle, then a running elbow. Then Macho does his patented "closeline the guy against the top rope while I fly over it" move. To make it even better, he goes back in the ring and covers. Gorilla says it could be a disqualification. In what universe? Dragon finally starts to make a comeback, and the crowd is eating out of his hand. Macho charges Dragon, but Dragon throws him over. Now Jesse wants a DQ. Maybe in WCW 1995.Here's one thing that was neat about the time period. Steamboat hits a chop off the top and covers. The crowd doesn't see Savage kick out, so it goes crazy. But Savage has his foot on the rope. Nowadays, fans are trained to only expect a finish after a finishing move or a shot from a foreign object. Occasionally we get a rollup finish, but you can usually see those coming a mile away. Back in 1987, the fans believed the match could end at any time, so they paid attention to the whole thing, rather than just waiting for a finishing move. Steamboat goes for a number of pinning combinations, but Macho keeps kicking out.

Jesse: This is one of the greatest matches I've ever seen Gorilla.

That's a shoot, brother. Savage reverses one of Steamboat's combinations into one of his own grabbing the tights, but Dragon kicks out. This sets up the finish, as a series of reversals end with ref Dave Hebner knocked out. Savage goes to the top, and with the flashbulbs popping, nails the elbow off the top. Still one of my favorite moves ever. He covers, but Hebner is still out. So Macho goes outside for the bell, but The Animal intercepts it. Savage gets it back, but as he goes to the top, Steele pushes him off, into the ring. Gorilla speculates the bell might have hit Savage. Either way, the champ is woozy. He stumbles to his feet and picks Steamboat up (grabbing his lower back in pain first). But Steamboat reverses the slam into a cradle, and gets the pin. The crowd goes crazy. The storyline here was that Steamboat was beaten, and could have been beaten several times. But Savage took one too many chances, and it cost him the title. Steamboat gets the title, but Savage loses nothing, because everyone recognizes how great he is. Every wrestling fan needs to own this match. *****
PHIL: One final note. Long standing rumor that most people believe says that Hogan was furious with this match because he felt it took the spotlight away from him.

-Now, in the worst possible position on the card to be in, we get an interview with Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper. Cooper says this will be Jimmy Hart's nightmare. Nothing compared to when Honky and Jake came to the arena and saw their placement on the card. The interview sets up the storyline, where Honky hit Jake in the head with a guitar. According to the Jake DVD, that guitar was not gimmicked. Jake Roberts (with Alice Cooper) vs. Honky Tonk Man (with Jimmy Hart)

Gorilla: All of the sudden, out of nowhere, Jimmy Hart is now a Colonel.

Both these guys can work, and the match is solid. Jake attacks early and whips HTM into the corner, but falls prey to the allure of the blind charge. Since it's never worked in 200 years of wrestling, and doesn't work here, you'd think wrestlers would take note that you can't just run wildly into the corner. I can't help but wonder what Alice was paid for this gig. He doesn't really do anything, but rather is just standing there. But he's Alice Cooper, so it's cool.Oh right, the match. HTM goes for the shake rattle and roll, but Jake powers out of it. Back and forth, and Jake calls for the DDT. But for some reason, he backs into the corner, and Hart grabs his leg. Jake turns around, and HTM rolls him up, grabs the top rope, and gets the win ** 1/2

PHIL: This would be the first real match Jake Roberts had after his neck was legit hurt on a guitar hit to the head (in those days, they were not the break-a-way ones that you see now). Sadly, to combat the pain, Roberts road to drugs and substance abuse began.

Jesse: This is going to have to go down as a major upset.

Gorilla: Major upset? They STOLE it. They literally stole it.

-They tease Alice going after Hart, but it doesn't lead to anything.

-Gene comes into the ring to announce that there are 93,000 fans in the dome, which is a new indoor record. In other news, I am voting for Dennis Kucinich and Casey Blake is an MVP candidate.

- Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Shiek v. Killer Bs (B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell) Hacksaw interrupts Volkoff's Russian National Anthem, because "America is the land of the free." Not exactly logical, but Hacksaw's character was never the sharpest knife in the drawer. Match goes along fine until Hacksaw decided he's had enough and decks Shiek in the back with his board, drawing a DQ. These days, the B's would have turned on Hacksaw and left him laying for costing them the match. In 1987, they essentially say "well, we were gonna lose anyway, so ..." **
PHIL: What about the Killer B's? Have they ever won a match?

-Main event: WWF TitleAndre the Giant vs. Hulk HoganThe match that brought the crowd. There appears to be genuine suspense, as the crowd is excited. Bob Uecker and Mary Hart come out. Bob does the ring intros, while Mary handles the timekeeping.

-Hulk and Andre (RIP) cut promos. One of these days, I will transcribe Hogan's Wrestlemania IV promo, where he says he will slam Andre and cause a fault in the land, and all of the people in Atlantic City will fall into the ocean. But Donald Trump will be smart enough to let go of his material possessions and carry his family to safety. It's so twisted, words can't describe it. -Andre doesn't NEED theme music. He comes in on a cart to huge heel heat. People are throwing stuff at him as he comes down. Andre is getting hit with all kinds of stuff.Gorilla: Andre has literally been brainwashed. Gorilla's misuse of the term "literally" was a WWF PPV staple.-Hogan gets a huge ovation, obviously.
Joey Marella (RIP), Gorilla's son, is the ref. Hogan goes for a slam right away, but Giant falls on him and gets a close two. Andre of course, dominates with his offense. He had to be in so much pain, and yet I don't think many in the Silverdome even realized it. Hogan makes a comeback, eventually getting Andre outside, where he tries a piledriver on the concrete. I figure Hulk was stalling there. I've seen a number of Hogan matches, and have never seen him complete a piledriver, so everyone had to know he wouldn't, and couldn't get it. Eventually they get back in the ring, and Hogan "Hulks up" and slams the big man, in what may still be the biggest single moment in American pro wrestling. Hogan had slammed Andre before, back in the early 80s at Shea Stadium, when Andre was a face (with a huge afro) and Hogan was a heel managed by Fred Blassie.
But that didn't take away from this, because few people saw it, and the WWF didn't even acknowledge the two had wrestled before. *

PHIL: Simply put - one of the greatest moments in this company's history. The match itself is borderline boring at times, but you can just tell looking at Andre's face that he is in almost crippling pain.-In one of the great moments, while Hogan poses, Andre leaves in the cart with Bobby. The Brain puts his head in his hands and looks like this is the most shocking, lowest moment of his career. That's why he's the best. -Gorilla and Jess wrap things up. Surprisingly, they go back to arguing about Savage-Steamboat.-Well, there it is. The biggest show ever.
PHIL: My highlights:
1. Hogan slamming Andre
2. Savage vs Steamboat
3. Bob Uecker
4. Bobby's promo and interaction with Gorilla
5. The crowd going crazy for Piper

My lowlights:
1. Koko vs Butch Reed
2. Seeing Adrian Adnois remembered for this
3. Mary Hart

That's it for the real bad. Overall, this is a solid show to watch with some memorial matches/moments.

Wrestlemania III
I'll start by saying this is strictly for the four pro wrestling fans that frequent this site.

-This is still the biggest show ever. as far as I'm concerned. And with this Sunday's show in Detroit, it seems fitting to review this.

-Live from the Pontiac Silverdome

-Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful. From what I heard, she'll do so again Sunday. I do think it's important to note that WWF usually ran video packages over some of the song, with pictures of American historical figures (a picture of Martin Luther King on a show with Slick, the Doctor of Style, always struck me as a strange coupling).

-We start with an introduction from the late Gorilla Monsoon, joined in the booth by ET's Mary Hart, baseball legend Bob Uecker, and Jesse Ventura. I would say this seems a tad beneath Hart, but since Entertainment Tonight has become an Anna Nicole Smith circus, I don't think that's true anymore.

-Opening Match: Cowboy Bob Orton and Don Muraco against The Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel and Tom Zenk).
Jesse: Muraco is looking big.
Martel is one of my favorite wrestlers, and Zenk has actually tied Honkytonk Man for the most burned bridges in a career. Three WWE Hall of Famers here, with Orton, Muraco and Mr. Fuji at ringside.
I should also note Bob and Mary have disappeared, without explanation. Have to wonder what Mary Hart did that day when she wasn't on camera. Did she hang out with George Steele backstage?
Anyway, Zenk and Martel (looking bigger than I ever saw before or after), use a flying bodypress and trip to pin Muraco. Nice little match. I have to think the Can-Ams were being groomed for something, although it never materialized because Zenk left WWF soon after. ** 3/4

- History package of Billy Jack Haynes and Hercules Hernandez. A closeline and a beating from Hercules set up this feud.

-Gene Okerlund is joined by Hercules (RIP) and Bobby Heenan. Hercules' promo is given as though he is the character from Roman times. See, this is why people think wrestling is stupid.

- I always sort of figured Hercules was Vince McMahon's rip-off attempt of Bruiser Brody, but I could be wrong.

-Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes
Hercules get most of the offense while Jesse and Gorilla banter back and forth. I don't care what people say, these two were great together. I can only assume they got along off camera. Hercules keeps hammering on Haynes, but picks him up at two, resulting in a discussion from the announcers about whether you should be picking up opponents. I think you should always take the pin, since that would end this match, which isn't exactly a show stealer.
Herc puts BJH in the full nelson, and we actually get analysis about why the hold is ineffective --Herc can't lock the fingers behind BJH's head. That's missing today.
Double clothesline spot leads to Haynes hitting a few moves and setting up a full nelson.
Jesse, after the 100th clothesline of the match:

"I guess the clothesline is what these guys are going to use a lot."

I like him so much more in wrestling than in politics.
Haynes puts on the full nelson, but Herc falls out of the ring, leading to a double countout. * 1/2
Nothing quite like a throwaway finish on the biggest show ever. Herc attack BJH with a chain afterwards and leaves him laying.
Gorilla: He might have busted him right open, Jess.
Jesse: He did; he did. He did.
So, did he?

-Gene does interviews for the mixed-midget wrestling thing

-King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo, and Lord Littlebrook v. Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid (RIP) and Little Beaver (RIP)
Uecker joins the guys for commentary, setting up one of the great lines in Wrestlemania history. Anyway, I am not a fan of midget wrestling. Since this is the 2005 DVD release, Don't Go Messin with a Country Boy is dubbed over with something that sounds like Country Dance on a Casio.
Little Beaver goes after Bundy, which Ventura protests. This sets up Uecker's moment of glory:
Uecker: I think there's a lot of Beaver all over this place.
Ueck pauses for a second, then tries to cover for his Rated PG-13 slip. Anyway, Bundy gets disqualified for squashing a midget. *

- Mary Hart interviews Elizabeth (RIP), but Macho interrupts and hits on Hart. How Macho could ever be booed is beyond me. He was so cool.

- Video package sets up Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. This would have been a main event seven years earlier. As it is, it's a glorified comedy match. I need to mention the package, when JYD steals Race's cape, and Vince is screaming "The fans ... going completely bezerk!" Of course, you see the fans pretty much doing nothing.

-Interviews with Gene, with Bobby again setting the tone. Uecker leaves the booth to hit on Moolah. Advice to anyone envisioning such a thing: don't.

-JYD (RIP) v. Harley Race
Dog was not much of a worker, but even a few years past his peak, he gets a monster response. The loser of this match bows to the winner. Months ago, Vivek asked me to work in a Grab Them Cakes reference somewhere on my blog. Never found use for it until now.
Race is just bumping like crazy trying to get the match over. It's almost Hennig like. I mean, he's flying all over the place for Dog's offense. JYD eventually gets distracted by Bobby, and Race hits a belly-to-belly suplex for the win. **
Dog bows to Race, then decks him with a chair.
Ventura: I have never in my day seen such a cheap shot in my life Monsoon.
Gorilla: I loved it.
Ventura: You loved it? If Harley Race was doing that I'd have to hold you back up here.
Dog leaves with the cape and crown. WWE has played this clip a lot over the years, never really mentioning that Dog lost the match.

- Vince McMahon (who somehow is only making his second and final appearance on the show) interviews Hulk about his match. I wonder if this was taped the day of the show.

- Gene interviews the Dream Team, establishing Dino Bravo (RIP) is in their corner, along with Johnny Valient

-Fabulous Rougeaus v. The Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine)
One of my favorite matches ever, just because of the commentary. Gorilla starts the fun by noting the Dream team is bringing four guys to the ring.

Gorilla: This is not a six-man match, Jess. What are all these guys doing out here?
Jesse: Advisers, Gorilla.

The teams are having a solid match, but Bobby the Brain elevates it to legendary status by barging into the broadcast booth. He speaks clearly, with crazy excitement. He brags about being 2-0, which draws another classic exchange:

Gorilla: You're one for three in my book. You didn't win the Hernandez match; King Kong Bundy lost.
Bobby: I wasn't out there for that match. I don't deal with midgets.

Heel miscommunication sets up the Rougeaus finishing move (a bizzare mid-section to face off the top thing), but with the ref distracted, Bravo comes off the top and puts Hammer on top. ** 3/4

Gorilla: Dino Bravo came in and turned the ta... aw, give me a break. I suppose you call that fair, Brain?
Bobby: A win's a win.
Beefcake is miffed by the finish, and the other three leave him behind, setting up his face turn. So the Dream Team breaks up, and the Rougeaus still can't win? This continues my running theory that the Fabs never won a match. Ever.

-Video package sets up the classic Hair v. Hair match between Roddy Piper and Adrian Adonis (RIP). I recently picked up the AWA DVD, and couldn't believe how great the East-West Connection was. Adonis was a heck of a worker, and decent in the promos they showed. I know he gained weight after arriving in the WWF, but why did he get saddled with the "Adorable" gimmick? The package also shows Piper at his best.

Adrian Adonis v. Roddy Piper
Piper was about as popular as Hogan was at the time. This was his retirement, although he came back so many times afterwards, that part of the story has lost its impact. Adonis is a sad story, since he died a little more than a year later in a car accident. He was only 33.
The place, as mentioned, is going nuts for Hot Rod. I should also point out this was a hair vs. hair match, as is this year's contest between Lashley and Umaga. Piper and Adonis trade belt shots. The match isn't great, but the place is going crazy. I think in some ways, Vince is trying to recreate this match with the Donald Trump angle. Manager Jimmy Hart gets tossed off the top rope. Man, everybody was going all out.
The other thing is by this point, Adonis had put on a ton of weight. Piper uses his charisma to keep the crowd going. Adonis puts on the sleeper, but releases it too soon. While he celebrates, Beefcake runs in (apparently he had his hair cut by Adonis weeks prior, but I've never seen the tape and the announcers barely mention it) and wakes up Piper. Piper is revived, and puts Adonis in a sleeper to end the match.
Beefcake cuts Adonis' hair (which eventually sets up his "barber" gimmick) They never get around to cutting all of Adonis' hair, but it's close enough.
Piper is announced as the winner, and kisses ring announcer Howard Finkel on the head. As he's celebrating, he's joined by a fan. Piper keeps his cool and shakes the kid's hand, then pushes him back as the camera cuts away. If you watch the ring, you see the fan get mad-rushed by security. Wonder whatever happened to the fan.

-Piper gets congratulated by Pat Patterson, Jack Lanza, and what looks to be Arnold Skaaland (RIP). Skaaland just died last week.

-Bob and Mary are back to do commentary. Mary's kind of annoying, but Bob is great. It seems, from his commentary, that he was a true fan. Mary sounds like Gordon Solie compared to the celebrity announcers they had at Wrestlemania II. If you've never heard the trifecta of Susan St. James, Kathy Lee Crosby and Elvira, consider yourself lucky.

-Hart Foundation (Jim Neidhart and Bret Hart) and Danny Davis v. British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith (RIP) and Tom "Dynamite Kid" Billington) and Tito Santana
If you want to hear true heel heat, wait until Davis tags in. Davis is, of course, the heel referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles. Mary clears up she's not related to Jimmy Hart. Well, she's trying.
I love this match. Every time the Harts are in command, the Harts tag in Davis, who walks in, kicks the faces in the back, grins, and tags out. Some promoters may have made him world champion with that kind of heat. Dynamite had broken his back and couldn't do much. Just about a year earlier, he was considered one of the greatest wrestlers ever. I read his book, and he was very honest about himself and everyone else. It's sad to watch the Bulldogs, knowing that Davey has passed and Dynamite is in a wheelchair.
The heels pretty much control the match, until Davis tries a body press and Davey gets his knees up. Santana tags in and he's TICKED. Santana just destroys Davis, and doesn't take the pin, instead putting on the figure four. It's broken up, and Davey tags in.
What follows is pretty fun to watch. Davey hits him with a piledriver, suplex and powerslam, with the crowd going crazy. Anvil makes the save, and in the free-for-all, Jimmy Hart tosses in the megaphone and Davis gets the pin. ***
Wow, that took some guts.
Bob: You'll never hear the end of it.
The segment ends with Mary interrupting Gorilla, and Gorilla ignoring her.

-Mean Gene interviews Bobby and Andre. Well, actually, Andre just stands there and looks like a badass, while Bobby cuts one of the best promos I have ever heard. He lays out all the cards: Andre's bigger, tougher, undefeated, unbeatable. Hogan has no shot; Hulkamainia is dead. Everyone is picking Andre. Don't bother, Hogan. You can watch this match, but it'll be a slaughter. I'll manage the champion; I'll be famous.
You know, I have seen Hogan and Andre, the match, 100 times, and it is not very good. If they show the match on complilations, they need to include this promo. Even though I know the match is bad, I still want to see it every time I watch this promo.

-And from this parade of greatness, we go to ...

-Butch Reed v. Koko B. Ware
This match is notable only because they overdub Piledriver over Koko's music. Hard to listen to, actually. Koko goes with the white tights tonight, which spares WWE from having to blur out the "WWF" on his tights. You know, WCW is dead, AWA is dead, and ECW might as well be. But there's only one company name, one set of letters, that can't be said. Try saying "WWF" at a WWE show, and they'll beep you. The company can't even admit it was WWF at one point. In that sense, those other companies live on, while the WWF is non-existent. In that sense, the promoters and companies Vince ran out of business had the last laugh.
Anyway, the match. Reed pins Ware with a handful of tights. *

-And now, the match that made the show into a classic. Hogan and Andre sold it, and provided the best moment. But the reason every wrestling fan needs to own this show is ...

- Intercontinental Title Match
Macho Man Randy Savage (with Elizabeth) vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (with George Steele)
I have to get this out of the way first: Steele is not the father of current OSU star linebacker James Laurinaitis. That is Road Warrior Animal's (Joe Laurinaitis) son.
OK, to the match. Savage crushed Steamboat's throat with a bell, Steele has the hots for Elizabeth (and really, who didn't?) and Steamboat is the usual sympathetic babyface. Savage is a heel, but you can tell the crowd is starting to get into him.
Also, WWE's cheapness shows again, as they dub over Steamboat's Alan Parson's Project music.
We start fast with Savage taking control. Ventura and Monsoon both put Savage over huge.
Steamboat takes over with an arm drag, and shots to the back. Savage goes back on offense. Everything these guys are doing has a crispness to it. Steamboat knocks Savage into the ropes, and bow we're moving. Steamboat uses a body press to set up pin attempts, but Savage catches Steamboat and sends him backwards into the ropes (how often do you see that?), then hits him with a knee to the back.
In one of my favorite parts of the match, Randy throws Steamboat out, but the Dragon skins the cat to get back in. Savage responds by casually clotheslining him over the top again. Steele tries to help Steamboat, but Savage attacks and sends Dragon into the crowd. Steele helps him back in to break the count, but Savagethrows him out again, then connects with an axe handle off the top. Jesse yells about the officiating.
Savage gets another axe handle, then a running elbow. Then Macho does his patented "closeline the guy against the top rope while I fly over it" move. To make it even better, he goes back in the ring and covers. Gorilla says it could be a disqualification. In what universe?
Dragon finally starts to make a comeback, and the crowd is eating out of his hand. Macho charges Dragon, but Dragon throws him over. Now Jesse wants a DQ. Maybe in WCW 1995.
Here's one thing that was neat about the time period. Steamboat hits a chop off the top and covers. The crowd doesn't see Savage kick out, so it goes crazy. But Savage has his foot on the rope.
Nowadays, fans are trained to only expect a finish after a finishing move or a shot from a foreign object. Occasionally we get a rollup finish, but you can usually see those coming a mile away. Back in 1987, the fans believed the match could end at any time, so they paid attention to the whole thing, rather than just waiting for a finishing move.
Steamboat goes for a number of pinning combinations, but Macho keeps kicking out.

Jesse: This is one of the greatest matches I've ever seen Gorilla.

That's a shoot, brother. Savage reverses one of Steamboat's combinations into one of his own grabbing the tights, but Dragon kicks out. This sets up the finish, as a series of reversals end with ref Dave Hebner knocked out.
Savage goes to the top, and with the flashbulbs popping, nails the elbow off the top. Still one of my favorite moves ever. He covers, but Hebner is still out. So Macho goes outside for the bell, but The Animal intercepts it. Savage gets it back, but as he goes to the top, Steele pushes him off, into the ring.
Gorilla speculates the bell might have hit Savage. Either way, the champ is woozy. He stumbles to his feet and picks Steamboat up (grabbing his lower back in pain first). But Steamboat reverses the slam into a cradle, and gets the pin. The crowd goes crazy. The storyline here was that Steamboat was beaten, and could have been beaten several times. But Savage took one too many chances, and it cost him the title. Steamboat gets the title, but Savage loses nothing, because everyone recognizes how great he is.
Every wrestling fan needs to own this match. *****

-Now, in the worst possible position on the card to be in, we get an interview with Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper. Cooper says this will be Jimmy Hart's nightmare. Nothing compared to when Honky and Jake came to the arena and saw their placement on the card. The interview sets up the storyline, where Honky hit Jake in the head with a guitar. According to the Jake DVD, that guitar was not gimmicked.

Jake Roberts (with Alice Cooper) vs. Honky Tonk Man (with Jimmy Hart)
Gorilla: All of the sudden, out of nowhere, Jimmy Hart is now a Colonel.
Both these guys can work, and the match is solid. Jake attacks early and whips HTM into the corner, but falls prey to the allure of the blind charge. Since it's never worked in 200 years of wrestling, and doesn't work here, you'd think wrestlers would take note that you can't just run wildly into the corner.
I can't help but wonder what Alice was paid for this gig. He doesn't really do anything, but rather is just standing there. But he's Alice Cooper, so it's cool.
Oh right, the match. HTM goes for the shake rattle and roll, but Jake powers out of it. Back and forth, and Jake calls for the DDT. But for some reason, he backs into the corner, and Hart grabs his leg. Jake turns around, and HTM rolls him up, grabs the top rope, and gets the win ** 1/2

Jesse: This is going to have to go down as a major upset.
Gorilla: Major upset? They STOLE it. They literally stole it.

They tease Alice going after Hart, but it doesn't lead to anything.

-Gene comes into the ring to announce that there are 93,000 fans in the dome, which is a new indoor record. In other news, I am voting for Dennis Kucinich and Casey Blake is an MVP candidate.

- Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Shiek v. Killer Bs (B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell)
Hacksaw interrupts Volkoff's Russian National Anthem, because "America is the land of the free." Not exactly logical, but Hacksaw's character was never the sharpest knife in the drawer. Match goes along fine until Hacksaw decided he's had enough and decks Shiek in the back with his board, drawing a DQ. These days, the B's would have turned on Hacksaw and left him laying for costing them the match. In 1987, they essentially say "well, we were gonna lose anyway, so ..." **

-Main event
WWF Title
Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan
The match that brought the crowd. There appears to be genuine suspense, as the crowd is excited. Bob Uecker and Mary Hart come out. Bob does the ring intros, while Mary handles the timekeeping.

-Hulk and Andre (RIP) cut promos. One of these days, I will transcribe Hogan's Wrestlemania IV promo, where he says he will slam Andre and cause a fault in the land, and all of the people in Atlantic City will fall into the ocean. But Donald Trump will be smart enough to let go of his material possessions and carry his family to safety. It's so twisted, words can't describe it.

-Andre doesn't NEED theme music. He comes in on a cart to huge heel heat. People are throwing stuff at him as he comes down. Andre is getting hit with all kinds of stuff.

Gorilla: Andre has literally been brainwashed.

Gorilla's misuse of the term "literally" was a WWF PPV staple.

-Hogan gets a huge ovation, obviously. Joey Marella (RIP), Gorilla's son, is the ref. Hogan goes for a slam right away, but Giant falls on him and gets a close two.
Andre of course, dominates with his offense. He had to be in so much pain, and yet I don't think many in the Silverdome even realized it. Hogan makes a comeback, eventually getting Andre outside, where he tries a piledriver on the concrete. I figure Hulk was stalling there. I've seen a number of Hogan matches, and have never seen him complete a piledriver, so everyone had to know he wouldn't, and couldn't get it.
Eventually they get back in the ring, and Hogan "Hulks up" and slams the big man, in what may still be the biggest single moment in American pro wrestling. Hogan had slammed Andre before, back in the early 80s at Shea Stadium, when Andre was a face (with a huge afro) and Hogan was a heel managed by Fred Blassie.
But that didn't take away from this, because few people saw it, and the WWF didn't even acknowledge the two had wrestled before. *

-In one of the great moments, while Hogan poses, Andre leaves in the cart with Bobby. The Brain puts his head in his hands and looks like this is the most shocking, lowest moment of his career. That's why he's the best.

-Gorilla and Jess wrap things up. Surprisingly, they go back to arguing about Savage-Steamboat.

-Well, there it is. The biggest show ever.

Top Wrestlemania moments
Editor's Note: WWE will be holding Wrestlemania 23 a week from Sunday in Detroit. Some very good friends of mine will be there, but I won't.
Nevertheless, I will watch on PPV. To get ready for it, I will do a complete review of Wrestlemania III this week.
My friend Phil Prusa has his top Mania moments. I will check in with my thoughts as we go along.

I'm looking at each Wrestlemania and picking one match from each one - this isn't the BEST match, but rather a match that stood out for me.

WRESTLEMANIA
Tito Santana vs The Executioner
Where it all started. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the very first Wrestlemania match ever.
Result: Tito won via figure four leglock
Zach's thought:Though historic, I usually skip the first match. I'm pretty sure that's the only WM match Jobber Santana won at WM. My pick? Wendi Richter v. Lelani Kai. The Rock and Wrestling Connection was what made the show as much as anything.

WRESTLEMANIA 2
Mr. T vs Roddy Piper (Boxing Match)
Let's see, take two wrestlers (using that term loosely with Mr. T) and put them in a worked boxing match. Sheer disaster and utterly boring.
Result: Mr. T won via DQ in Round 4 - Piper used an illegal wrestling hold (bodyslam)
Zach's thought: Boring indeed. I'll take Tito and JYD v. the Funks. Better match, plus a JYD appearance; one of the biggest stars ever.

WRESTLEMANIA III
Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant (WWF Championship Match)
You are not a true wrestling fan if Hogan slamming Andre isn't a sight you've seen about 500 times. I still can't get over how the Detroit crowd damn near erupted when it happened.
Result: Hogan won via pinfall to retain the WWF Title.
Zach's thought: Can't argue. Perhaps the biggest moment in WWF history.

WRESTLEMANIA IV
The British Bulldogs & Koko B Ware vs The Islanders & Bobby Heenan
Good: You get to see Bobby wrestle. Better, he's in full force wearing a protective dog outfit. Best, he actually scores the winning pinfall!
Result: The Islanders & Bobby Heenan won via pinfall (Heenan pinned Koko)
Zach's thought: This was no more or less boring than the show itself, which maybe is still going on for all I know. I choose Ted Dibiase v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan as my match, because Ted was so good at that time he could make a three-minute match pretty good.

WRESTLEMANIA V
Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage (WWF Championship Match)
Zach says this is one of (if not the outright best) Hogan's best matches ever. Hard to disagree. Killer commentary by Jesse Ventura as well.
Result; Hogan won via pinfall to win the WWF Title.
Zach's thought: Agreed. Savage was just so great. Too bad he's blacklisted by WWE.

WRESTLEMANIA VI
Demolition vs The Colossal Connection (WWF Tag Team Title Match)
Either this or an awesome Hogan/Ultimate Warrior main event, but seeing Andre compete in his last ever WWF pay per view sways my vote. He only appeared in a few more events (non wrestling) before his passing in 1993.
Demolition won via pinfall to win the WWF Tag Team Titles (Ax pinned Haku)
Zach's thought: I'd prefer to forget that match. How about Curt Hennig's loss to Brutus Beefcake, which may have ended any chance of Hennig becoming a main eventer in the WWF.

WRESTLEMANIA VII
Ultimate Warrior vs Randy Savage (Retirement Match)
No doubt the greatest match you'll every see out of the Warrior. This match was planned down to the very last detail and Savage with Sherri made it work. Plus who could forget Randy and Elizabeth getting back together? (Prompting my favorite Bobby Heenan quote when he saw a woman in the stands crying, "Maybe her shoes are too tight!"
Result: Ultimate Warrior wins via pinfall
Zach's thought: Great match, great storyline. Agreed.

WRESTLEMANIA VIII
Randy Savage vs Ric Flair (WWF Championship Match)
I watched this match a few weeks ago and it is still the best match I have ever seen. Added bonus are the post match interviews with Mr. Perfect complaining Savage cheated, yet failed to mention how he bashed a chair into Randy's leg. True classic.
Result: Savage won via pinfall to win the WWF Title
Zach's thought: The best WM match I had ever seen, until Angle took on Michaels in WM21.

WRESTLEMANIA IX
Hulk Hogan vs Yokozuna (WWF Championship Match)
Yokozuna had just beat Bret Hart for the WWF Title when Hogan comes out of nowhere to help Hart up to his feet. Mr. Fuji, apparently not realizing that his man had wrestled 20 minutes, demanded Hogan challenge Yoko in an impromptu match RIGHT DAMN NOW! Even worse? Hogan had NO connection in the storylines - he just popped out of nowhere for this.
Result: Hogan won via pinfall to win the WWF Title
Zach's thought: I remember this for all the wrong reasons. I miss the days when people just pretended this show didn't exist. Still, I prefer to remember the only WM appearance of the Steiner Brothers, who beat the Headshrinkers.

WRESTLEMANIA X
Bret Hart vs Owen Hart
No gimmicks, no titles, no reason to take away from these two wizards who put on a hell of an opening match. The rest of the show is almost a letdown save for a great HBK/Razor match.
Result: Owen won via pinfall
Zach's Thought: Best. Opener. Ever.

WRESTLEMANIA XI
Lawrence Taylor vs Bam Bam Bigelow
Yes...THAT Lawrence Taylor, who apparently really needed the big payday. All things considered, while this won't ever be a classic, the match wasn't a train wreck either.
Result: Taylor won via pinfall
Zach's thought: Poor Bam Bam. This is the only thing I do remember from this show, actually.

WRESTLEMANIA XII
Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels (WWF Championship Match - Iron Man Match)
An incredible match (that quite frankly, went well over the heads of most WWF fans back in that day) and ended in an 0-0 fall tie that HBK won in a sudden death overtime. Also of note is this is the only Title match on the whole card (excluding the Free for All event that took place prior to the PPV).
Result: Michaels won via pinfall to win the WWF Title
Zach's thought: There are two WM's I have never seen. This is one of them.

WRESTLEMANIA 13
Steve Austin vs Bret Hart (Submission Match)
Booked to perfection, this bloody war made good guy Hart a vicious heel and Stone Cold the next big thing in wrestling. Good thing too, because the rest of this card is a disaster.
Result: Bret won via the Sharpshooter (Austin passed out)
Zach's thought: This is the other.

WRESTLEMANIA XIV
The Undertaker vs Kane
Why this match? It's simple. This match started a three year Wrestlemania tradition that saw Kane tombstone Pete Rose (yes...THAT Pete Rose).
Result: Undertaker won via pinfall
Zach's thought: Undertaker, for much of his career, was a synonym for boring. I remember Mike Tyson's involvement that put Austin over the top in his match against Michaels.

WRESTLEMANIA XV
Butterbean vs Bart Gunn (Brawl for All Finals)
Hmmm..Legit boxer who could kill you if he pleased or Bart Gunn? In a worked fight, I'd take Gunn. However, this was a real fight that lasted all of 35 seconds (highlighted by Bart's head snapping like a twig on Butterbean's final punch). One final highlight: This was Gorilla Monsoon's final WrestleMania appearance.
Result: Butterbean won via knocking Bart Gunn into a different time zone
Zach's thought: Just about the only thing worth watching from this glorified, 3-hour RAW.

WRESTLEMANIA 2000
The Rock vs Big Show vs Mic Foley vs Triple H (WWF Championship Match -- Fatal 4-Way Match)
Zach will kill me for putting it here, but it marked the first time a heel walked out of Wrestlemania as the WWF Champion.
Result: Eliminations were as follows:
1. Big Show eliminated by The Rock (pinfall)
2. Foley eliminated by Triple H (pinfall)
3. The Rock eliminated by Triple H (pinfall) - Triple H retains the WWF Title
Zach's thought: This match just fell apart from overbooking. They should have just done Rock v. HHH and been done with it. And for all the talk about a heel walking out at Mania on top, they've only done it once since, during Austin's heel turn in Houston, which the fans still popped for. Still, I do remember, with disappointment, the main event.

WRESTLEMANIA X-SEVEN
Gimmick Battle Royal (I'm not listing everyone)
Old school theme music! Bobby Heenan back announcing! This trip down memory lane was well done and a real treat for us who suffered through some of those gimmicks back in the day
Result: The Iron Sheik won by eliminating Hillbilly Jim
Zach's thought: Benoit and Angle put on a clinic; that's what I remember. Probably the best PPV WWF has ever put on.

WRESTLEMANIA X8
The Rock vs Hulk Hogan
Incredible match that saw Hogan "Hulk up" and the Rock deliver as the goods as well. I remember going into this match thinking it could bomb. It wound up being the best match of the night, with most people leaving the bar we saw it at once the match ended.
Result: The Rock won via pinfall
Zach's thought: I remember HHH boring the people in the final match against Jericho.

WRESTLEMANIA XIX
The Rock vs Steve Austin
It took him three Wrestlemanias to do it, but The Rock finally was able to get his win over Stone Cold after giving him three Rock Bottoms (Austin had prevailed at Wrestlemanias XV and X-Seven).
Result: The Rock won via pinfall
Zach's thought: I remember Brock almost killing himself with a shooting star press, and the improvised finish. Angle probably should have called it a career after that. He's the best performer I have ever seen, save Flair.

WRESTLEMANIA XX
Brock Lesnar vs Bill Goldberg
What should have been a dream match turned into a nightmare for the WWE. It became public knowledge that both men were leaving the company shortly after Wrestlemania XX and the fans at the PPV let the have it. The booing just drowned out the match and both wrestlers were visibly upset over it.
Result: Goldberg won via pinfall
Zach's thought: Benoit and Guerrero celebrating in the ring with their titles was one of the greatest things I've seen in wrestling.

WRESTLEMANIA 21
Big Show vs Akebono (Sumo Match)
Didn't we learn from that stupid fixed boxing match in Wrestlemania 2 that we now get a fixed sumo match?? Oh well, this match is still worth a look if only to see Big Show look a complete dork.
Result: Akebono won via throwing Big Show out of the ring
Zach's thought: I have actually wiped that out. Thankfully. Michaels and Angle is a match I still enjoy. It's the Flair-Steamboat of this era.

WRESTLEMANIA 22
Edge vs Mick Foley (Hardcore Match)
If there was ever a doubt, this match put Edge over as a stand alone singles wrestler. The ending of the match is just brutal (even by WWE standards) and is worth a look. On a side note, how many wrestlers owe Mick a big thank you for getting them over?
Result: Edge won via pinfall
Zach's thought: Flair's bump off a ladder would be considered cruel and unusual punishment in most countries. In WWE, it gets you a feud with Carlito.

A-Rod and Derek Jeter not the best of friends
And this is what makes for news today in the world. Well, this and an asteroid that has a 1-45,000 chance of hitting the earth in 30 years. And people are urging the U.N to take a stand.
We can't get the U.N. to take a stand on important issues. What are the odds they'll pay attention to this?
Well, pretty good, actually.

Update:
Newsflash from 2036:
With his house destroyed, sports writer Zach warned all bloggers not to mock the universe in their posts.
"I was sitting down to watch HHH wrestle Undertaker on a WWO (World Wrestling Old) pay-per-view," Zach said. "I heard this noise, and got out just in time. Sadly, all my possessions were destroyed by the asteroid. My wrestling tapes, my Frasier DVDs, even my Hootie and the Blowfish albums."
Zach blamed the encounter on a blog post he wrote some 30 years ago on a little-read website.
"If I could talk to that 26-year old kid now," Zach said, "I would warn him. Don't blog on asteroids. Asteroids never forget."

Cleveland All-Pro Wrestling Recap
There are, of course, two schools of thought on the project I am about to undertake:
1. Some people don't want me recapping wrestling because they think it's stupid.
2. Others appreciate when I apply myself to wrestling recaps.
Either way, this is an experiment. Cleveland All-Pro Wrestling is aired on Sports Time Ohio from 10:30 p.m. Saturday nights to ... well, I'm not really sure, actually. STO doesn't have a program guide, and I only know about CAPW because I saw the commercial for it while watching the John Carroll-Heidelberg basketball game.
So really, I have no idea what to expect. But why not give it a shot?
---
I'm greeted by a preview, with an announcer telling me matches tonight will include:
-Evan Steele v. The Bouncer (no idea on either)
- Jason Bane v. Heavyweight champion Tracy Smothers (him I know).

We start in the locker room, with Tracy Smothers and some guy I don't know. Apparently "Crystal" is out of town and Smothers mocks the Browns and I can't really hear much else. Then Gypsy Joe comes in and strangles the unknown guy. Two minutes in and I'm lost without a map.
Smothers pulls Joe off and everyone seems to be getting along.
First match:

-"Real Deal" Evan Steele v. the Bouncer
The announcers aren't identified at first. The website tells me it's Joe Dombrowski and Jamie Scott. The Bouncer looks like a cross between Tommy Dreamer and Animal. Bouncer appears to be the face here, and the announcer lets me know Steele is in his CAPW debut. Steele does a nice "cannonball splash" (a running charge with a flip). Steele is about half the size of Bouncer, and Bouncer is doing quite a bit of selling. Steele uses a standing shooting star press. Well, he has no chance to get into WWE. He can move and he's not too big. Bouncer catches Steele off the rope with a sit-down power bomb. Steele kicks out of a power slam, then goes back on offense. Bouncer wins with something that resembles a black hole slam. That's not to be critical, I just don't know what the move is, and the announcer gave it a name I can't spell.

-Quick cut in tells me CK3 will face Chris Cole in a last-man-standing match next week.

-Greg Valentine will wrestle Sunday for CAPW. I saw Valentine lose to Warlord in November of 1991 in Richfield. The match wasn't even advertised, but I have always been a fan of Valentine, and was happy to see him. The sad thing now is Gorilla Monsoon is not around to stress how you need to get to the Hammer early, because he doesn't get going until later in the match.

- Main event: CAPW TV champ Jason Bane v. Heavyweight champ Tracy Smothers
I was kind of hoping Smothers would cut a promo on John Layfield. Smothers was involved in the greatest tag team match I have ever seen, when as a member of the Southern Boys, he faced the Midnight Express at the Great American Bash 1990. He's joined by Gypsy Joe and JT Lightning, the guy I didn't know from the beginning of the show.
Tracy cuts a promo against the crowd, which has taken to chanting "Tracy Sucks" st him. Lightning calls the crowd "Hillbillies, crackdealers, thieves, welfare recipients." Interesting equation there. Whatever happened to just picking out a kid in the crowd and calling him "fat boy?" It worked for Ric Flair. Lightning says he will "bust you in your pie hole."
Smothers than decides to get heat by saying "the Cleveland Browns are not the Cleveland Browns anymore." Tell us about it. Then Smothers refers to Art Modell as his uncle. That's effective, I'll give him that. And Smothers keeps going, bragging he worked out three days this week.
Smothers has not gotten in the ring yet. It seems as though there has been a half hour of stalling. Tracy's catchphrase seems to be "we'll kill everybody."
Anyway, Bane wins the title with a clothesline after Smothers hit Joe with the belt. Then the decision gets reversed because the referee saw the belt. Years go by, but the Dusty Finish will live forever.
Bane wants revenge, so he wants a handicap match Smothers, Joe and Lightning against Bane and Greg Valentine.
And with that, we get some more promos, and we're done.
Eh, that was weird. A lot more language than I would have expected on STO, and one OK match. I'll tune in next week, just to see who else comes in.