Wrestlemania III (Director's cut)
This is, of course, exactly the same as the previous post. But this one has Phil Prusa's running commentary. I do a lot of MST3K-inspired stuff, so here's Phil's chance to respond to me.
I look at it as a sort of commentary track on a DVD.
Here we go:
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I'll start by saying this is strictly for the four pro wrestling fans that frequent this site.

-This is still the biggest show ever. as far as I'm concerned. And with this Sunday's show in Detroit, it seems fitting to review this.

-Live from the Pontiac Silverdome

-Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful. From what I heard, she'll do so again Sunday. I do think it's important to note that WWF usually ran video packages over some of the song, with pictures of American historical figures (a picture of Martin Luther King on a show with Slick, the Doctor of Style, always struck me as a strange coupling).
PHIL: Somehow, I can't be the only one who was surprised Vince didn't show a shot of "The Natural" Butch Reed -- you know, cause he had white hair and all

-We start with an introduction from the late Gorilla Monsoon, joined in the booth by ET's Mary Hart, baseball legend Bob Uecker, and Jesse Ventura. I would say this seems a tad beneath Hart, but since Entertainment Tonight has become an Anna Nicole Smith circus, I don't think that's true anymore.
PHIL: Oddly enough, of all the celebrities you just listed, Anna Nicole Smith was the only one never to appear on WWF/WWE programming.

-Opening Match: Cowboy Bob Orton and Don Muraco against The Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel and Tom Zenk).

Jesse: Muraco is looking big.

Martel is one of my favorite wrestlers, and Zenk has actually tied Honkytonk Man for the most burned bridges in a career. Three WWE Hall of Famers here, with Orton, Muraco and Mr. Fuji at ringside. I should also note Bob and Mary have disappeared, without explanation. Have to wonder what Mary Hart did that day when she wasn't on camera. Did she hang out with George Steele backstage?Anyway, Zenk and Martel (looking bigger than I ever saw before or after), use a flying bodypress and trip to pin Muraco. Nice little match. I have to think the Can-Ams were being groomed for something, although it never materialized because Zenk left WWF soon after. ** 3/4
PHIL: Long standing rumor states that Zenk left the WWF for two reasons. One was a contract dispute, and the second was that he felt that Martel was betraying him (even going as far as trying to get Zenk in marry his sister to keep Zenk "in line").

- History package of Billy Jack Haynes and Hercules Hernandez. A closeline and a beating from Hercules set up this feud.-Gene Okerlund is joined by Hercules (RIP) and Bobby Heenan. Hercules' promo is given as though he is the character from Roman times. See, this is why people think wrestling is stupid.
PHIL: See, I thought stupid was Jim Ross proudly declaring that Arachnaman hailed from "Web City" back in WCW.

- I always sort of figured Hercules was Vince McMahon's rip-off attempt of Bruiser Brody, but I could be wrong.

-Hercules vs. Billy Jack HaynesHercules get most of the offense while Jesse and Gorilla banter back and forth. I don't care what people say, these two were great together. I can only assume they got along off camera. Hercules keeps hammering on Haynes, but picks him up at two, resulting in a discussion from the announcers about whether you should be picking up opponents. I think you should always take the pin, since that would end this match, which isn't exactly a show stealer. Herc puts BJH in the full nelson, and we actually get analysis about why the hold is ineffective -- Herc can't lock the fingers behind BJH's head. That's missing today.Double clothesline spot leads to Haynes hitting a few moves and setting up a full nelson. Jesse, after the 100th clothesline of the match:"I guess the clothesline is what these guys are going to use a lot."
I like him so much more in wrestling than in politics.
Haynes puts on the full nelson, but Herc falls out of the ring, leading to a double countout. * 1/2
Nothing quite like a throwaway finish on the biggest show ever. Herc attack BJH with a chain afterwards and leaves him laying.
Gorilla: He might have busted him right open, Jess.
Jesse: He did; he did. He did.So, did he?
PHIL: Just wondering...but what did Billy Jack Haynes do in the WWF besides this match? Seriously, I have thought about other par per views, other feuds, and other big time events, and his name NEVER comes up.

-Gene does interviews for the mixed-midget wrestling thing-King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo, and Lord Littlebrook v. Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid (RIP) and Little Beaver (RIP) Uecker joins the guys for commentary, setting up one of the great lines in Wrestlemania history. Anyway, I am not a fan of midget wrestling. Since this is the 2005 DVD release, Don't Go Messin with a Country Boy is dubbed over with something that sounds like Country Dance on a Casio.Little Beaver goes after Bundy, which Ventura protests. This sets up Uecker's moment of glory:

Uecker: I think there's a lot of Beaver all over this place.
Ueck pauses for a second, then tries to cover for his Rated PG-13 slip. Anyway, Bundy gets disqualified for squashing a midget. *
PHIL: This match proves that, with great commentary, even a lame gimmick match like this can be fun. Uecker should be in the WWE Celebrity wing of the WWE Hall of Fame.

- Mary Hart interviews Elizabeth (RIP), but Macho interrupts and hits on Hart. How Macho could ever be booed is beyond me. He was so cool.

- Video package sets up Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. This would have been a main event seven years earlier. As it is, it's a glorified comedy match. I need to mention the package, when JYD steals Race's cape, and Vince is screaming "The fans ... going completely bezerk!" Of course, you see the fans pretty much doing nothing.
PHIL: Of course, when Vince was ever on commentary, every single thing he ever saw was unbelievable.
-Interviews with Gene, with Bobby again setting the tone. Uecker leaves the booth to hit on Moolah. Advice to anyone envisioning such a thing: don't.
PHIL: One reason to watch WrestleMania IV: Uecker is back and berates Gorilla and Jesse for a few seconds, saying he got new glasses and won't be fooled into chasing Moolah a second year in a row.

-JYD (RIP) v. Harley RaceDog was not much of a worker, but even a few years past his peak, he gets a monster response. The loser of this match bows to the winner. Months ago, Vivek asked me to work in a Grab Them Cakes reference somewhere on my blog. Never found use for it until now.Race is just bumping like crazy trying to get the match over. It's almost Hennig like. I mean, he's flying all over the place for Dog's offense. JYD eventually gets distracted by Bobby, and Race hits a belly-to-belly suplex for the win. ** Dog bows to Race, then decks him with a chair.

Ventura: I have never in my day seen such a cheap shot in my life Monsoon.
Gorilla: I loved it.Ventura: You loved it? If Harley Race was doing that I'd have to hold you back up here.

Dog leaves with the cape and crown. WWE has played this clip a lot over the years, never really mentioning that Dog lost the match.
PHIL: Probably the only time in the history of WWF/WWE will you hear a commentator use the word "curtsey."

- Vince McMahon (who somehow is only making his second and final appearance on the show) interviews Hulk about his match. I wonder if this was taped the day of the show. - Gene interviews the Dream Team, establishing Dino Bravo (RIP) is in their corner, along with Johnny Valient-Fabulous Rougeaus v. The Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine)One of my favorite matches ever, just because of the commentary. Gorilla starts the fun by noting the Dream team is bringing four guys to the ring. Gorilla: This is not a six-man match, Jess. What are all these guys doing out here?Jesse: Advisers, Gorilla.The teams are having a solid match, but Bobby the Brain elevates it to legendary status by barging into the broadcast booth. He speaks clearly, with crazy excitement. He brags about being 2-0, which draws another classic exchange: Gorilla: You're one for three in my book. You didn't win the Hernandez match; King Kong Bundy lost.Bobby: I wasn't out there for that match. I don't deal with midgets
PHIL: If you never heard Gorilla and Heenan do commentary on anything from live matches to Tuesday Night Titans, you're missing a real treat. These two played off each other better than duo I've ever experienced.
Heel miscommunication sets up the Rougeaus finishing move (a bizzare mid-section to face off the top thing), but with the ref distracted, Bravo comes off the top and puts Hammer on top. ** 3/4

Gorilla: Dino Bravo came in and turned the ta... aw, give me a break. I suppose you call that fair, Brain?
Bobby: A win's a win.

Beefcake is miffed by the finish, and the other three leave him behind, setting up his face turn. So the Dream Team breaks up, and the Rougeaus still can't win? This continues my running theory that the Fabs never won a match. Ever.
PHIL: Do house show wins count?

-Video package sets up the classic Hair v. Hair match between Roddy Piper and Adrian Adonis (RIP). I recently picked up the AWA DVD, and couldn't believe how great the East-West Connection was. Adonis was a heck of a worker, and decent in the promos they showed. I know he gained weight after arriving in the WWF, but why did he get saddled with the "Adorable" gimmick? The package also shows Piper at his best. Adrian Adonis v. Roddy PiperPiper was about as popular as Hogan was at the time. This was his retirement, although he came back so many times afterwards, that part of the story has lost its impact. Adonis is a sad story, since he died a little more than a year later in a car accident. He was only 33. The place, as mentioned, is going nuts for Hot Rod. I should also point out this was a hair vs. hair match, as is this year's contest between Lashley and Umaga. Piper and Adonis trade belt shots. The match isn't great, but the place is going crazy. I think in some ways, Vince is trying to recreate this match with the Donald Trump angle. Manager Jimmy Hart gets tossed off the top rope. Man, everybody was going all out. The other thing is by this point, Adonis had put on a ton of weight. Piper uses his charisma to keep the crowd going. Adonis puts on the sleeper, but releases it too soon. While he celebrates, Beefcake runs in (apparently he had his hair cut by Adonis weeks prior, but I've never seen the tape and the announcers barely mention it) and wakes up Piper. Piper is revived, and puts Adonis in a sleeper to end the match. Beefcake cuts Adonis' hair (which eventually sets up his "barber" gimmick) They never get around to cutting all of Adonis' hair, but it's close enough.Piper is announced as the winner, and kisses ring announcer Howard Finkel on the head. As he's celebrating, he's joined by a fan. Piper keeps his cool and shakes the kid's hand, then pushes him back as the camera cuts away. If you watch the ring, you see the fan get mad-rushed by security. Wonder whatever happened to the fan.
PHIL: Adonis actually did get his head shaved. It happened backstage and then the WWF ran a storyline with him being all depressed that he was no longer "Adorable." He died shortly after this. Real shame that this is how most people will remember his career. As far as the fan who stupidly rushed the ring, all I can remember is he got tackled by about half the WWF security force.

-Piper gets congratulated by Pat Patterson, Jack Lanza, and what looks to be Arnold Skaaland (RIP). Skaaland just died last week.

-Bob and Mary are back to do commentary. Mary's kind of annoying, but Bob is great. It seems, from his commentary, that he was a true fan. Mary sounds like Gordon Solie compared to the celebrity announcers they had at Wrestlemania II. If you've never heard the trifecta of Susan St. James, Kathy Lee Crosby and Elvira, consider yourself lucky.
PHIL: Somewhere Zach, Susan St. James is saying "UH-OH!!"

-Hart Foundation (Jim Neidhart and Bret Hart) and Danny Davis v. British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith (RIP) and Tom "Dynamite Kid" Billington) and Tito SantanaIf you want to hear true heel heat, wait until Davis tags in. Davis is, of course, the heel referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles. Mary clears up she's not related to Jimmy Hart. Well, she's trying. I love this match. Every time the Harts are in command, the Harts tag in Davis, who walks in, kicks the faces in the back, grins, and tags out. Some promoters may have made him world champion with that kind of heat. Dynamite had broken his back and couldn't do much. Just about a year earlier, he was considered one of the greatest wrestlers ever. I read his book, and he was very honest about himself and everyone else. It's sad to watch the Bulldogs, knowing that Davey has passed and Dynamite is in a wheelchair. The heels pretty much control the match, until Davis tries a body press and Davey gets his knees up. Santana tags in and he's TICKED. Santana just destroys Davis, and doesn't take the pin, instead putting on the figure four. It's broken up, and Davey tags in. What follows is pretty fun to watch. Davey hits him with a piledriver, suplex and powerslam, with the crowd going crazy. Anvil makes the save, and in the free-for-all, Jimmy Hart tosses in the megaphone and Davis gets the pin. *** Wow, that took some guts.
Bob: You'll never hear the end of it.
The segment ends with Mary interrupting Gorilla, and Gorilla ignoring her.
PHIL: If you watch this with no prior knowledge of who anyone is, You'd swear Uecker is a member of WWF. He is just so fluid with his commentary. You also know the Hart Foundation was going to win this match since having Tito on your team at WrestleMania is like walking under a bridge, breaking a mirror, and crossing paths with a black cat all on the same day.

-Mean Gene interviews Bobby and Andre. Well, actually, Andre just stands there and looks like a badass, while Bobby cuts one of the best promos I have ever heard. He lays out all the cards: Andre's bigger, tougher, undefeated, unbeatable. Hogan has no shot; Hulkamainia is dead. Everyone is picking Andre. Don't bother, Hogan. You can watch this match, but it'll be a slaughter. I'll manage the champion; I'll be famous. You know, I have seen Hogan and Andre, the match, 100 times, and it is not very good. If they show the match on complilations, they need to include this promo. Even though I know the match is bad, I still want to see it every time I watch this promo.

-And from this parade of greatness, we go to ...

-Butch Reed v. Koko B. WareThis match is notable only because they overdub Piledriver over Koko's music. Hard to listen to, actually. Koko goes with the white tights tonight, which spares WWE from having to blur out the "WWF" on his tights. You know, WCW is dead, AWA is dead, and ECW might as well be. But there's only one company name, one set of letters, that can't be said. Try saying "WWF" at a WWE show, and they'll beep you. The company can't even admit it was WWF at one point. In that sense, those other companies live on, while the WWF is non-existent. In that sense, the promoters and companies Vince ran out of business had the last laugh. Anyway, the match. Reed pins Ware with a handful of tights. *
PHIL: One star? That seems WAY too generous here.

-And now, the match that made the show into a classic. Hogan and Andre sold it, and provided the best moment. But the reason every wrestling fan needs to own this show is ... -

-Intercontinental Title MatchMacho Man Randy Savage (with Elizabeth) vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (with George Steele)
I have to get this out of the way first: Steele is not the father of current OSU star linebacker James Laurinaitis. That is Road Warrior Animal's (Joe Laurinaitis) son. OK, to the match. Savage crushed Steamboat's throat with a bell, Steele has the hots for Elizabeth (and really, who didn't?) and Steamboat is the usual sympathetic babyface. Savage is a heel, but you can tell the crowd is starting to get into him. Also, WWE's cheapness shows again, as they dub over Steamboat's Alan Parson's Project music.
We start fast with Savage taking control. Ventura and Monsoon both put Savage over huge.
Steamboat takes over with an arm drag, and shots to the back. Savage goes back on offense. Everything these guys are doing has a crispness to it. Steamboat knocks Savage into the ropes, and bow we're moving. Steamboat uses a body press to set up pin attempts, but Savage catches Steamboat and sends him backwards into the ropes (how often do you see that?), then hits him with a knee to the back. In one of my favorite parts of the match, Randy throws Steamboat out, but the Dragon skins the cat to get back in. Savage responds by casually clotheslining him over the top again. Steele tries to help Steamboat, but Savage attacks and sends Dragon into the crowd. Steele helps him back in to break the count, but Savagethrows him out again, then connects with an axe handle off the top. Jesse yells about the officiating. Savage gets another axe handle, then a running elbow. Then Macho does his patented "closeline the guy against the top rope while I fly over it" move. To make it even better, he goes back in the ring and covers. Gorilla says it could be a disqualification. In what universe? Dragon finally starts to make a comeback, and the crowd is eating out of his hand. Macho charges Dragon, but Dragon throws him over. Now Jesse wants a DQ. Maybe in WCW 1995.Here's one thing that was neat about the time period. Steamboat hits a chop off the top and covers. The crowd doesn't see Savage kick out, so it goes crazy. But Savage has his foot on the rope. Nowadays, fans are trained to only expect a finish after a finishing move or a shot from a foreign object. Occasionally we get a rollup finish, but you can usually see those coming a mile away. Back in 1987, the fans believed the match could end at any time, so they paid attention to the whole thing, rather than just waiting for a finishing move. Steamboat goes for a number of pinning combinations, but Macho keeps kicking out.

Jesse: This is one of the greatest matches I've ever seen Gorilla.

That's a shoot, brother. Savage reverses one of Steamboat's combinations into one of his own grabbing the tights, but Dragon kicks out. This sets up the finish, as a series of reversals end with ref Dave Hebner knocked out. Savage goes to the top, and with the flashbulbs popping, nails the elbow off the top. Still one of my favorite moves ever. He covers, but Hebner is still out. So Macho goes outside for the bell, but The Animal intercepts it. Savage gets it back, but as he goes to the top, Steele pushes him off, into the ring. Gorilla speculates the bell might have hit Savage. Either way, the champ is woozy. He stumbles to his feet and picks Steamboat up (grabbing his lower back in pain first). But Steamboat reverses the slam into a cradle, and gets the pin. The crowd goes crazy. The storyline here was that Steamboat was beaten, and could have been beaten several times. But Savage took one too many chances, and it cost him the title. Steamboat gets the title, but Savage loses nothing, because everyone recognizes how great he is. Every wrestling fan needs to own this match. *****
PHIL: One final note. Long standing rumor that most people believe says that Hogan was furious with this match because he felt it took the spotlight away from him.

-Now, in the worst possible position on the card to be in, we get an interview with Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper. Cooper says this will be Jimmy Hart's nightmare. Nothing compared to when Honky and Jake came to the arena and saw their placement on the card. The interview sets up the storyline, where Honky hit Jake in the head with a guitar. According to the Jake DVD, that guitar was not gimmicked. Jake Roberts (with Alice Cooper) vs. Honky Tonk Man (with Jimmy Hart)

Gorilla: All of the sudden, out of nowhere, Jimmy Hart is now a Colonel.

Both these guys can work, and the match is solid. Jake attacks early and whips HTM into the corner, but falls prey to the allure of the blind charge. Since it's never worked in 200 years of wrestling, and doesn't work here, you'd think wrestlers would take note that you can't just run wildly into the corner. I can't help but wonder what Alice was paid for this gig. He doesn't really do anything, but rather is just standing there. But he's Alice Cooper, so it's cool.Oh right, the match. HTM goes for the shake rattle and roll, but Jake powers out of it. Back and forth, and Jake calls for the DDT. But for some reason, he backs into the corner, and Hart grabs his leg. Jake turns around, and HTM rolls him up, grabs the top rope, and gets the win ** 1/2

PHIL: This would be the first real match Jake Roberts had after his neck was legit hurt on a guitar hit to the head (in those days, they were not the break-a-way ones that you see now). Sadly, to combat the pain, Roberts road to drugs and substance abuse began.

Jesse: This is going to have to go down as a major upset.

Gorilla: Major upset? They STOLE it. They literally stole it.

-They tease Alice going after Hart, but it doesn't lead to anything.

-Gene comes into the ring to announce that there are 93,000 fans in the dome, which is a new indoor record. In other news, I am voting for Dennis Kucinich and Casey Blake is an MVP candidate.

- Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Shiek v. Killer Bs (B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell) Hacksaw interrupts Volkoff's Russian National Anthem, because "America is the land of the free." Not exactly logical, but Hacksaw's character was never the sharpest knife in the drawer. Match goes along fine until Hacksaw decided he's had enough and decks Shiek in the back with his board, drawing a DQ. These days, the B's would have turned on Hacksaw and left him laying for costing them the match. In 1987, they essentially say "well, we were gonna lose anyway, so ..." **
PHIL: What about the Killer B's? Have they ever won a match?

-Main event: WWF TitleAndre the Giant vs. Hulk HoganThe match that brought the crowd. There appears to be genuine suspense, as the crowd is excited. Bob Uecker and Mary Hart come out. Bob does the ring intros, while Mary handles the timekeeping.

-Hulk and Andre (RIP) cut promos. One of these days, I will transcribe Hogan's Wrestlemania IV promo, where he says he will slam Andre and cause a fault in the land, and all of the people in Atlantic City will fall into the ocean. But Donald Trump will be smart enough to let go of his material possessions and carry his family to safety. It's so twisted, words can't describe it. -Andre doesn't NEED theme music. He comes in on a cart to huge heel heat. People are throwing stuff at him as he comes down. Andre is getting hit with all kinds of stuff.Gorilla: Andre has literally been brainwashed. Gorilla's misuse of the term "literally" was a WWF PPV staple.-Hogan gets a huge ovation, obviously.
Joey Marella (RIP), Gorilla's son, is the ref. Hogan goes for a slam right away, but Giant falls on him and gets a close two. Andre of course, dominates with his offense. He had to be in so much pain, and yet I don't think many in the Silverdome even realized it. Hogan makes a comeback, eventually getting Andre outside, where he tries a piledriver on the concrete. I figure Hulk was stalling there. I've seen a number of Hogan matches, and have never seen him complete a piledriver, so everyone had to know he wouldn't, and couldn't get it. Eventually they get back in the ring, and Hogan "Hulks up" and slams the big man, in what may still be the biggest single moment in American pro wrestling. Hogan had slammed Andre before, back in the early 80s at Shea Stadium, when Andre was a face (with a huge afro) and Hogan was a heel managed by Fred Blassie.
But that didn't take away from this, because few people saw it, and the WWF didn't even acknowledge the two had wrestled before. *

PHIL: Simply put - one of the greatest moments in this company's history. The match itself is borderline boring at times, but you can just tell looking at Andre's face that he is in almost crippling pain.-In one of the great moments, while Hogan poses, Andre leaves in the cart with Bobby. The Brain puts his head in his hands and looks like this is the most shocking, lowest moment of his career. That's why he's the best. -Gorilla and Jess wrap things up. Surprisingly, they go back to arguing about Savage-Steamboat.-Well, there it is. The biggest show ever.
PHIL: My highlights:
1. Hogan slamming Andre
2. Savage vs Steamboat
3. Bob Uecker
4. Bobby's promo and interaction with Gorilla
5. The crowd going crazy for Piper

My lowlights:
1. Koko vs Butch Reed
2. Seeing Adrian Adnois remembered for this
3. Mary Hart

That's it for the real bad. Overall, this is a solid show to watch with some memorial matches/moments.