Indians preview thing
(Warning: This is really negative.)

The Indians spent all of $2.8 million dollars this offseason on free agents. That mainly brought them Russell Branyan, the only guy hurt enough to think signing with the Indians was a good idea.

Then again, maybe that was a smart move on his part, since he hasn't so much as taken an at-bat with the big club in Spring Training. Better to have a job and be hurt than have an injury with no checks coming in.

Honestly, I'm not sure why the Indians signed Branyan when they could have brought back Ryan Garko, who is younger, a right-handed bat (which the left-handed heavy Tribe needs) and most of all, cheaper.

But regardless, let's assume Branyan won't play anytime soon. The defense looks like this...

Catcher: A question mark. Mike Redmond and Lou Marson, who may be slightly less talented than a broken wrench, are likely the two with the big club.

First base: Matt LaPorta and Andy Marte. Apparently LaPorta is too hurt to play first base every day. Yeah, first base, which was DH in the American League until 1973. I like what Marte did in limited time last year, but it's not like he's gonna get much of a shot.

Second base: Luis Valbuena has had a poor spring, but it's not like playing poorly has ever stopped the Indians from sticking guys in the lineup before. Unless your Josh Barfield.

Shortstop: Asdrubal Cabrera. Imagine where the Indians would have been had they made the move of Cabrera to short at the beginning of last year. Probably the same place, but at least we wouldn't have had to watch Jhonny Peralta at short. Footage of that has been shown to audiences at Accidently on Purpose tapings, because after watching Jhonny play, ANYTHING would seem entertaining, even that show.

Third base: Jhonny Peralta. Goes good year/bad year. In theory, this would be a good year. Of course, we said that about Eric Wedge's managing, and look where he is now.

Left field: Michael Brantley. He's so talented the Phillies are already assembling four useless prospects to trade for him in two years.

Center field: Grady Sizemore. No longer contractually obligated to leadoff and possibly healthy, Sizemore begins his season-and-a-half farewell tour with the Indians organization.

Right field: Shin Soo Choo. Great player, but the Indians are trying to sign him to an extension. That means he'll either walk, or sign and his shoulder will fall off three weeks later.

DH: Travis "he's coming around" Hafner. He's coming around, they tell me. Everyone says he will be back in form before too long.

2007: "When will he come around?"
"Before too long."

Pitchers.
Jake Westbrook (hurt), Fausto Carmona (hasn't had a good game in three years), David Huff (won 11 games last year. Or so I'm told.), Justin Masterson (they figure he won't be quite as bad as a starter) and Mitch Talbot (Indians got him for Kelly Shoppach, so he can't be good).

Kerry Wood is hurt; Chris Perez is the closer. It's not like they're going to have many leads late anyway.

Manager: Manny Acta. He's not Wedge. Really. He's not Wedge.

Final prediction: Indians go 72-90. The Indians draw what a Loverboy concert would most nights. People start talking about LeBron leaving by the third inning of opening day.